BALLER-ITIS

Scientific name - ballinus confusicus. Also known as ballin' fever.
(definition) - A condition in which an individual is under the illusion of financial prosperity due the acquisition of a sum of money that is large relative to the average content of their bank account.
(The terms are suspected to have been coined by me as I was was through jester towards the PCL)

Typical causes include receiving an open ended scholarship, a grant and in some cases a monthly paychecks (though these are known to cause relatively mild attacks). Internships are an especially virulent cause of baller-itis amongst college students.

Symptoms typically include feelings of excessive euphoria, a sharp increase in trips to the mall. Victims are often seen spotting a selection new kicks with pairs being interchanged in rapid succession.

Contrary to popular belief, the use of the word 'Ballin!', even when accompanied with the 'free throw' hand motion is not a sign of a baller-itis attack.

Some popular cures include, frequent glances at ones tuition loan statement and/or maxed out credit card statement. Repeatedly chanting the Marta "The money is all in my mind", many also help. For extreme cases it is recommended that you take one of your maxed out credit cards and swipe it at two or three convenience stores. Adding a high fashion store at the local mall to the list will increase impact but this should only be done as a last resort.

If you are suffering, or like me, have survived an attack of baller-itis, please feel free to comment on this.