Learning to play

Despair

2010-02-12T06:22:00.001-08:00

Despair
by Kimberly

If only the world could see what I feel
then, would the world, know who I am
I've loved, lost and feared the world
for it is sometimes too much to bare

Control, power, is what I fear
for I am weak inside and full of pain
I shout and cry, but knowing
there is nobody there to hear me
I swallow the shame and anger
that lies beneath me

I am lost to reality and living in time
Though I am struggling through life
and all that it offers, I am only human
and that is what makes me . . . Me.

Still, I wish for the happiness and pleasure
that I have earned, but realize that, I have
not yet overcome the world's greatest challenge

Love! and how to accept it -
I am ready to face my fears

Childhood

2010-02-03T18:13:00.001-08:00

I have never been one of those people who have nostalgic longings for childhood. Don't get me wrong, as far as childhoods go, I am pretty much convinced that I had about as close to a perfect childhood as one could wish for. My parents were loving, kind, successful and always present. I can't remember a single occasion when there was any kind of open conflict between my parent and I was always fully secure and confident in their love. School life as also pretty much a breeze, I was a popular athlete who did really well in class and was also a student leader. In fact, it was this almost picture perfect description of m childhood that first drew my attention to the complete absence of warm fuzzy feelings towards my childhood. If anyone should have loved their younger days it should have been me.

It was not until i reached college and had the opportunity to really experience life on my own that I realized where the feelings of dread that I associated with childhood came from: a feeling of lack of control. As a child you have absolutely no say in anything that happens to you, good or bad, and while I was fortunate enough to have ended up in a wonderful loving family, I could just as well have ended up with a mean family that I hated and there would have been very little that I could have done about it, especially in Kenya. The feeling is akin to what I feel when I think of a country like Switzerland, a land were everyone has a fairly high standard of living but is also subject to a highly controlled system where it is illegal for instance to buy food in neighboring France mainly because it is cheaper. While there are many who would do anything to live in a country like Switzerland, the very though of it stifles me.

Frankly, I think coming to the US and going through 5 years of school would seeing my parents has caused me to become sort of addicted to my independence. I am used to doing things without having to explain myself to anyone and accustomed to knowing that I will bear the consequences of my choices. I can not fathom reentering an world in which I will have to tell another person where I am going, why I am going there and when I will be back every time I leave the house. This is probably why the thought of relationships is also quite stifling to me. I know that I will have to let go og these sentiments at some point but not just yet. As a friend of mine used to say, I am still 'enjoying my stallion years', and see no reason why they should be cut short by a blind desire to join society in it blind addition to companionship.

So yeah, I don't long for my childhood, though other would probably kill for it and I am addicted to my independence. I wonder where these traits will lead me.

Providence

2010-01-30T08:57:00.000-08:00

Providence. I have heard this word used over and over again since my early childhood. I have never bothered to look up what it means. I have inferred it of course from the context in which it is often used, phrases like 'divine providence' or 'Gods providence'. It also helps that it kind of sounds like the word provide so I guess it easy to make the connection and assume that if means something along the lines of being given/provided something by someone.

Well I looked it up today and it turns out that the words 'divine' and 'God's' are kind of redundant in those phrases I mentioned earlier. According to google's new dictionary (which will inevitable become the standard for all word definitions), providence is defined thus:

Synonyms:
noun: foresight, forethought, prudence
Providence is God, or a force which is believed by some people to arrange the things that happen to us

Correct me if I'm wrong, but according to this, providence IS God (or a force), and He is not giving/providing you with anything, he is 'arranging the things that happen to us'. Well I'm sad that I have, for most of my life, had the wrong understanding of a word that has been such a staple in the conversations around me. I'm glad however to see that it represents exactly what I am excited about right now: Gods ability to plan out our live so perfectly that we marvel at the outcomes even with the benefit of hindsight.

I have been through a roller-coaster ride of a recruiting process to say the least. Up until march of 2009 I was comfortable in the knowledge that I had a full time job offer from a major Wall street firm. I could see the plan coming together, go to New York, earn your strips in a hellish environment for two years, pay your student loans and parley the name of the company and the experience into a great career in Africa focused private equity. Then the sky came crashing down with one phone call. Suddenly I had no Job, no way to pay my student loans, no way to guarantee my stay in the US, and an impending graduation that would surely user in a period of doom and distraction. My grand scheme was in a tailspin and it took everything calm down and not throw in towel.

Almost a year later, I can confidently say that that call was one of the best things that has ever happened to me. It enabled me to free myself from a job that I would be miserable doing for 2 years while keeping my large signing bonus and corporate scholarship which were integral to my being able to finish school and contingent on my accepting a full time offer with the company. It gave me the chance to spend an extra semester in the university I love the most (UT Austin), it gave me a chance to keep working with the RSC foundation and help another African student attend my Alma mater and it gave me the opportunity in the American city I love the most (Austin, TX!). I couldn't see it then but God was arranging things in a way that I could never have understood at the time. Thank God for Providence. Thank God for God ;)

Addiction

2010-01-29T08:48:00.000-08:00

Addiction is a strange phenomenon. It can happen in so many different ways to so many different things. It easier to understand the addictions that have been found to be the result of actual physiological changes in the brain such as smoking and the increase of nicotine receptors. I find the purely psychological addictions a lot more disturbing and frightening. The fact that a human being could be caused or forced, to do something that he really rationally does not want to do and that he know he will regret after he has done is understandable. It only becomes bizarre when the person doing the forcing is the same one being forced. This internal battle that is every bit as real as battle between two human beings but more deadly because at least in a fist fight one of you can run away thus avoiding the consequences of a confrontation. One can't very well run away from one self. Thats the scariest thing about addiction. The inescapably of it all. When struggling with addiction, there is always a fight, there is always a winner, and there is always a looser. Worst of all, there is always another fight to come. If Milan Kundera is to believed, this endless cycle of battles with addiction is exactly what gives addiction so much weight in our lives. The fact that we know that we will meet this adversary again and again and that the outcome of this battle affects the outcome of the next makes it more difficult to carry the burden of addiction.

I wonder what is to be done about it. We can't give in, one of the things that makes us humans is our ability to choose what we want to do. Free will is a cornerstone of what it means to be human. Man was not meant to be a slave, not to another man and certainly not to oneself. In the slavery that is addiction there is no escape, there is no underground railroad. There is only insurrection, the slave must rise up, take up arms and overthrow the master, that is his/her only hope of redemption. But in his weekend state, battered and bruised by past battles he can not do it alone. He must look up, reach up find the helping had that awaits there, join forces with his helper, then and only then will there be hope for a new beginning.

After a three year hiatus, I wonder what has changed

2010-01-27T15:23:00.000-08:00

My life is a series of close calls, constantly punctuated by 'almost disaster' after 'almost disaster': a last minute trip to the embassy followed by a hurried take off to an unknown land, a summer internship without which an entire year of college would have been rendered useless, a last minute deferment of fees, a hurried one hour registration for classes. Close calls at the bus stop, close calls at the airport, close calls all around. I wonder whether these close calls stress me out of invigorate me, I know that I have often felt that my life would be intolerably boring where it not for the continuous current of perils that have beset me. I look back on the last 5 years of my life and can clearly see that the most uncertain of times are also the times when I felt most alive. It almost as if there is an adrenaline surge in my system as my survival instincts kick in and suddenly I can put a lot of things that seemed so important into perspective.

I often joke that if I had been given the opportunity to plan my life I would have learned absolutely nothing. Thats because I would never have purposeful planed peril into my life, and without peril and the attending opportunity to over come it, it is difficult to see which important life lessons I would currently have in my arsenal. I hope you don't misunderstand me though, I am in no way bemoaning my life as some singularly troubled experience. I am very well aware of the fact that I am probably in the most fortunate 5% of the worlds population as far as opportunities for self direction and self development goes. As a good friend of mine once said, 'If God were to put all the worlds troubles into one pot then redistribute them equally, I would be begging Him to give me back my own troubles'. I am simply saying that I have had man a time when I felt like my life was quickly spinning out of control, and those have turned out to be some of the richest times in my life.

Does it therefor make sense that if still get that jolt of anxiety whenever I am faced with a new challenge? Even when the challenge at hand is minuscule in comparison to what I have over come so far, I still get flustered at the possibility of failure. I wonder if it is because with each of my past successes I have gain something new to worry about loosing. Let me explain: when I was worried about getting into a good high school, I was primarily concerned about doing dad proud by attending his High School Alma Marta. Where I to fail, I could always go to another high school and do just fine. Contrast that with failing to get a job post college graduation, now failure means wasting a very expensive college education, creating financial burdens for people who have already given so much for me, inability to give back to those who supported me or give forward to other who may need me. Loss of a pear group that I have grown accustomed to and even possible deportation. Maybe all this things, all these responsibilities keep raising the stakes just enough to ensure that when the next close call comes around I will be just as anxious about it as the last one

Kudos to Afrigator

2007-08-16T19:47:00.000-07:00

I'm glad to see that, after a break down some time back, Afrigator is up and running. I was a big fan of the blog agrigator from inception but got a bit disillusioned when I notices that the RSS feed (at least for the Kenya section of the site) stopped updating for a long time.

I have just returned to the site after my friend John Wesonga let me know that It had been mentioned in a CNN article along side giants like joost and esnips as one of the the top web 2.0 start-ups outside the US. It was the only one from Africa to be mentioned so kudos to the Afrigator team.

One of the most interesting things that I came across in the CNN article was the amount of funding that it took to setup Afrigator. The article quoted $32000, a figure that i feel really shows the benefit of doing work especially technology oriented work in Africa. When put up against the other start ups mentioned (many of which refused to declare what funding if any they had received) it is clear that Afrigator was the least funded and if I am not mistaken the start up with the second lowest amount of declared funding had something like $1 million. Despite the disparity in funding, the quality of work that has been put out by the Afrigator team is definitely at per with that of their, much better funded, compatriots. It just goes to show that the dream Africa as a center of technological innovation is becoming a reality faster than most think and the cost saving advantage will only accelerate the process further.

I am looking to leverage African technologists in the near future, hopefully I will be able to put yet another tech start up from Africa on the map.

BDAfrica: The good the bad and the ugly

2007-08-16T19:20:00.001-07:00

I have been reading the Business Daily Africa website for some time now as my source for Kenyan business news and I must say that I love the articles that they feature. I they stick to the business facts and for the most part steer clear of the political noise that often clouds the news from others such as its parent company's (nation media) nationmedia.com and the East African Standards eastandard.net.

One major qualm i have with the site though is the number of typos that i keep running into in their articles. I don't believe i have ever gone through an entire issue without finding a significant number of typos. Some of these typos are Rather innocuous such as a missing letter here or there but some are more serious such as miss quoted figure or differences in figures quoted more than once within a single article.

The mistakes take away significantly from the air of professionalism that is created by the clean layout and clear writing style that is employed by BDAfrica.

I would advise that they impose stricter editorial over-site to ensure that the facts are not only properly researched but properly presented in order to prevent loss of credibility. It they feel that hiring a full time staff member to do proof reading would be too costly then they should at least give readers an easy way of sending in typo notification. I'm sure that a number of readers wouldn't mind assisting in this manner given the value of the articles they put up.

While they are at it they might also consider implementing a discussion feature that would enable viewers to discuss the most popular articles. I see this taking a longer term to implement as it might necessitate them moving from the ijoomla platform to a more feature filled platform.

Overall though I think that bdAfrica.com is at the front of the pack as far as Kenyan business news is concerned and would recommend it to anyone wishing to stay on top of Kenyan business news.

Interesting things happening in kenya

2007-08-15T10:57:00.000-07:00

There are a number of interesting development in kenya of late. One of the most interesting thus far is the launching of KenTv, an IPTV service based in the UK and focusing on the delivery of kenyan content to kenyans int eh diaspora. It is an area that is definately lucrative and I can see a number of individuals really latching on to the service. According to John Wesonga, the service is currently getting over 35000 view per day. Thats a huge number for a site that has just been launched that the is focusing on Kenyan content. The naviagation could use some work though and the 5 minute Nakumatt advertisement is a bit too much if you ask me.

Also, in news just released on bdAfrica, kenTv has just entered into a partnership with the steadman group to provide on demand research sevices to Kenyans in the diaspora. I think this service will be a hit both with kenyan students seeking to do research on Kenyan topics as well as with people seeking to guage the viablilitly of business ventures before plunging in. The turn-around time is good (92 hours) and the price is quite appealling ($3.99 per question with bulk discounts) considering what it would cost to do similar research on your own. Another advantage is steadmans ability to return research result of the entire East African region.

Also the Safaricom IPO is causing quite a stire as is to be expected with $500 million worth of equity in the pot. A number of major financial institutions (Goldman Sachs, JPMorgan, Credit Swiss, PNB Paribus to name a few), are gunning for advisory roles on the IPO along with a number of major internation law firms. I must say that i was a bit disapointed not to see Merrill Lynch as one of the firms in the running, I feel that they are letting a major entry point into the African market pass them by. This is quite sad considering the growth potential in this market. Setting up relationships early is definately going to be a key determinant going forward of who cashes in on the Afican Renaissance.

tugo

2007-08-07T11:46:00.001-07:00

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the new keyboard has arrived!!

2007-07-24T17:54:00.000-07:00

This is the first post that i am making using my new mobile iGo key board pictured below. this was definately a fantastic buy! The way that they have structured the keys makes it very easy to type and it holds up the mobile device (a htc excaliber aka t-mobile dash in my case)so that its very easy to see what it is that i am writing. the set up process wasn't too convoluted and once its set up hooking it up when you want is a breaze! literaly a two step process.

I woould definately recommend it for anyone with a phone running windows mobile that is looking to sqeeze more productivity out of their device. with windows mobile 6 you get word and excel built in so it basically turns your smartphone into a mini computer.

The keys of the keyboard are customizable (though i havent gotten to doing that yet) but it works well witht the default configuration and has a bunch of cool functionality that you can access using the two funtion keys that are present on the device.

Once abain i highly recommend the device for the ultra mobile user. I got it on amazon for a total cost of $75 inclusive of shipping and handling costs.

Book Review: Fooled By Randomness by Taled Nasim

2007-07-18T19:28:00.000-07:00

I read this one at the begining of the summer. I would summerize it as an analysis of the natural biases that we as humans have and how the affect out ability to make logical decision.

The author is a former trader who has made his fortune by basically betting ont he impossible, or what others consider impossible but he through a thorough mastery of probability considers quite probable. He does this by buying options on things that other thing will never happen. Since the probability of the even the option is based on it highly improbable to the seller he sells it for cheap. Sure enough many of the options that he buys end up expiring and so he is constantly loosing small amounts of money. But... when he does win, its a REALLY big win and that how he comes out on top.

He is a very well read individual and does a pretty good job of explaining some pretty heft statistics and probability stuff. Its definitely a book that will get you to rethink some of your basic assumptions about the nature of things. But be ware of the authors tendency to rumble on about how brilliant he is and how everyone he meets turns turns out to be an idiot and a disappointment.

a couple of wonderful new discoveries

2007-07-17T17:44:00.000-07:00

Fantastic Brazilian music: CeU

An sheng entry in wikipedia: Sheng

eat fairly well for under $8 on the upper west side

2007-07-16T17:27:00.000-07:00

For those of you who like me are always looking for a good place to eat for cheap in this wonderful but slightly pricey neighbourhood I found a place called club 71 that a pretty good deal for the price. I got the food you see in the picture for $6.95 plus tax. (side bar: this is the first picture im posting taken with my new Dash. It was at night so the lights not very good).

Here is a picture of the place:

Its at 2061 Broadway, New York, NY in case your ever in the area and hungry

never buy anything from those time square computer shops

2007-07-15T16:45:00.000-07:00

You know the ones that have all the fancy electronics on the window display with tantalizing prices plastered all over them. Yeah you know the ones... well they are a scam! Avery well tuned one too if i may say so myself. The price they have for the sexy canon camera in the window is actually the one for a crappy useless on that they have on the inside.

On the rare occasion that they do have the actual price written in the window, don't be surprised to be told that they only have the window unit in stock and that that it is for display only. Whatever you buy there is marked up at least 200% and no matter how good a deal you think your getting, rest assured that you are being scammed.

If you remain obstinate and decide to go in anyway please please ask them to tell you the price you will be paying for the gadget verbally. Yes, even if you have already read the little red sticker on the packaging. And do this before the quickly pull out a razor blade and cut open the packaging making the item unreturnable.

My advice though, stick to companies that you can actually sue if the scam you. And if your a staunch bargain hunter, you'd rather even go get your gadget on ebay or something, just don't subject yourself these con-artists.

Eating raw meat (Bibim bap)!

2007-07-07T13:55:00.000-07:00

I went with a couple of friends to a Korean bbq place yesterday in K-town (32 and broadway) and ordered this meal called bibim bap that consists of beaf and vegies that have been mixed together with a scrambled egg on top.
Unbeknownst to me, the version that of bibim bap that i pointed to on the menu was different from the one that my friend had recomened to me. This perticular version is not only served raw ( as is almost every thing else at the place), but is supposed to be EATEN RAW!

Now there is a bbq place in the center of each table at the place so that you can cook the food that they bring to you to your hearts content adn at first i was convinced that was probably the way to go but after some hesitation and having my food carefully stired by the very nice lady who served us, i decided to embrace the spirit of adventure and give the raw beef a shot!

surprise surprise! it was actually reeally good! it tasted nothing like what i expected and didn't have the weird consistency of raw meet that i had expected would make me gag. I finished the entire bowl which was not small as you can tell from the picture. I definately recomend the meal to anyone looking for something new and exciting to eat. After eating it, eating my first jelly fish seemed like a relatively small step. All in all it was a revolutionary evening for my pallet :)

july 4th, and the unheralded kenyan chicken

2007-07-05T16:48:00.000-07:00

so this was the week of july the 4th. we got wednesday off at work and spent most of monday doing community service at this school in harlem. the story there is pretty interesting, the long and short of it is that a friend and i ended up painting desks in the wrong school and get blasted by yet another overly krunk new yorker, allot of these people here need to take a chill pill. its not like i would go and just start doing home improvements (or is it school improvemnts) in some random school. she was acting like repainting defaced desks was the crime of the century.

anyway seeing as two of my work days were unceremoniously taken away, i now have 3 day to finish 5 days work, I aint compaliniing though. went to coney island jana... it sucks... but the company was good so i had a good time. there was a hot dog eatting compe there (which i missed do to oversleeping... i had gone to bed at 4 on tuesday, another night on the town :). The winner though ate 66 hotdogs!!! in 12 minutes!!!! (correction, he didn't eat them, he swallowed them bila chewing i tell you). that stuff is dangerous! apparently is actually a recognized sport and they have a league and everything! its called M.L.E. Yeah you guessed it... Major League Eating :) only in america i tell you.

Oh, i was talking to an iteresting friend the other day and the converstation the otherday and somehow the converstion drifted into fast food and how much we miss kenyan fast food, stears (swoon), Nandos (double swoon), and the ultimate KENCHIC!! That kuku mfalme just has no compe on this planet! anyway it came to me that i haven't read any praise for kenchic and them and i figured i should just give a shout out to all those who know that there is only one kuku mfalme and its the king of all kukus on this planet.

yet another wonderful evening in the city

2007-07-01T17:58:00.000-07:00

New York has once agin lived up to its reputation and treated me to yet another memorable weekend, I had a blast having dinner and going out with a couple of new and old friends, i had people come in from out of state and we all had a merry time. I forgot my debit card at a lounge in meat-packing jana, but i am sure it will be safe and sound when I go to pick it up in about 30 minutes. i doubt any of the people in that part of town would bother with my little moneys :)

I have decided that, rather than keep trying to figure out an easy way of calling a perl script (running on cygwin) from a c sharp application, i will just re-write the entire file parser in c sharp. I think it will be easier and will make for a more solid solution because everything will be bundled together nicesly into ac sharp solution that can be installed anywhere. I have already started re-writing it and am currently going through the steep learning curve phase. Hopefully it passes soon.

apparently according to a blog post by assidous chris khaemba, (aka sodi :) my former principle will be moving to south Africa to lead the African leadership institute! its a big loss for bush, but i am sure he will be a valuable asset to both institutions int he future.

Aaaah! slightly frustrated

2007-06-26T16:39:00.000-07:00

Today was the 'day of silence' protest against the high royalty fees that are about to be imposed on internet radio sites. I really didn't realise how much i rely on these online radio stations for my work time entertainment until today. I was truly frustrated! Last.fm didn't join the protest and i could have gone over to their site to listen to music but I was constrained to support the industry that has brought me so much good music. And so I stuck by my guns and went music less all day!

C# is frustrating me, it has this way of making really difficult thing really easy, but also making really simple things seem supper difficult! I'm trying to pull data from an xml file and use it to dynamically create tables in an sql database, then display them in a grid view on a GUI. If anyone has any ideas on how to do this, please let me know. also, if anyone knows how to run a perl script from a C# GUI app. let me know.

I am learning that there are a lot of things that are learn't over time. I too often look at people doing something that i would like to do or being some way that id like to be and conclude that they have always been that way. but im slowly learning that i can learn to do almost anything... which is a reasurign thought.

Gods been good to me.

Does anyone have any thought on whether to give people on the street money?

Project progress

2007-06-25T18:46:00.000-07:00

Im in the middle of building what I consider to be my first major application that actually does something of substance. It reconciling output from an application run on two different environments and presenting the output on a GUI. The project necessitated that I learn perl, a language that i have since come to love coz it's file parsing capabilities. It also seems really light and so I think it would be very usefull when programing in areas where resources are limitied like on mobile phones.

I am currently building the GUI in C# using visual studio 2005 express. It makes GUI building really easy but I don't know if I really like the way it just feels big and heavy. Also its now suitable for linux environments and I'm getting more and more interested in the platform (I just installed ubuntu on my laptop... yet again).

The weekend was a lot of fun. I got to see a bit more of brooklyn and also went to china town with a good friend. I watch people dancing to some type of eastern european sounding music at the south steet see port, it was another fun weekend in the city.

I finished reading this nice book called "fooled by randomness" (expect a review soon), and now I'm reading an even more interesting book called "the search". I hear the subsaharan coder has read it and loves it. I can see why, its a must read for any technology inclide person.

So I'm back in new york for the summer

2007-06-24T08:07:00.000-07:00

I'm already into the 4th week of my internship and convinced more and more that the financial industry is where its at for me. New York is definitely one of the few if not the only city in the states that I feel i can live in for any extended period of time. I think i mentioned before how much it reminds me of Nairobi with all the hustling and the dirt and the assortment of strange odors. Its alive! I need a city that's alive (as well as one in which public transport is the defacto mode transportation, another similarity with Nairobi.).

I have been toying with a couple of interesting business and philanthropy ideas. Keep watching this space for updates on how thats coming along. One particular idea i have had for a minute and just haven't been in the state of mind to think of it as presently achievable. I'm hoping to meet with a friend who has already taken the plunge into setting up a non-profit so that she can demystify the process for me (I love this city! making connections is so easy).

My illustrious cousin just returned to from attending TED Global in Arusha where she met the creme de la creme of African innovators and visionaries, I hope the start an Africa specific chapter of TED. I would love to attend next year (finders crossed).

"white African" (who was also at TED Global by the way), just wrote a post on an innovative corporate blogging project by my good friend and former co-worker John Nyukuri. check it out here.
The team behind the project is really visionary and bent on building disruptive technology.

Saw this random guy with an entire office, desk and all parked on the corner of 51st and Broadway, getting internet from starbucks and working on his stuff. He even had a desk lamp and flowers (albeit artificial)in there. I love this city!

The pictures grainy coz i took it with my trusty old school cell phone

Songs I grew up to

2007-05-17T18:12:00.001-07:00

These songs take me back to good days, and bad days alike. Enjoy!

What makes Mr. Imus different

2007-04-11T11:16:00.000-07:00

I know that what Mr. Imus is being accused of is not something that he is the first to be guilty of in the mainstream media. Racially disparaging remarks and made and condoned everyday especially by members’ minority groups in the name of light heartedness and humor. The practice is deplorable; there is no doubt about that in my mind.

However one would be naive to push to the side the fact that the context in which this particular racist attack takes place is quite singular. Mr. Imus is not a comedian at some laugh-factory in Atlanta. He is not some rap artist pushing records on the street corner. Mr. Imus wields a kind of power only a very select few in this society have. His level of influence with the pool of people from which this country chooses its leadership is way beyond that of any of the 'usual suspects' that I have mentioned. When you call a group of girls attending Rutgers university "nappy-headed hos" and then have a prospective US presidential candidate come to your defense in the name of “believing in forgiveness”, you know you are at a level of influence that few ever reach.

With great power comes great responsibility. Mr. Imus must be held to a higher standard. Not because he is white, but because of the amount of influence that we have accorded to him. When he uses the term ‘nappy-headed’ and gets away with a slap on the wrist, it sends a message not only to the boy on the street corner, but to the men on capital hill that you can make disgusting, crass and racially offensive statements and escape the consequences as long as your sorry about it in the aftermath.

What is being advocated for is not the creation of policy; it is the enforcement of policy, Policies that were put in place to counter precisely this sort of incident.

Cellphones, Maxi-Pads and Other Life-Changing Tools

2007-04-07T15:33:00.000-07:00

BOUGHT TO MY ATTENTION BY THE EVER AU COURANT JASON GOLDBERG

By THOMAS L. FRIEDMAN
Published: April 6, 2007

NAIROBI, Kenya

For decades, the world has asked: How do we free Africa from its yoke of poverty, disease and misgovernance? In asking Kenyans that question, I’ve been struck at the simple, common-sense solutions they offer. Four in particular stand out: transparency, telephones, Tergat and Kotex.

Naisiae Tobiko is a 28-year-old dynamo who grew up in Kenya’s Masai region. She runs a public relations firm, but when we met all she wanted to talk about was Kenya’s shortage of sanitary napkins for girls. Here’s why, she explained: Her family could afford to send her to school, where she thrived. As she got older, though, she started to notice something about the less well-off girls — they missed four days of class every month, “and I could not understand why.” When she finally asked, they confided that they did not come to school when they were menstruating — because their parents could not afford sanitary napkins.

“They would say, ‘How can I come to a place when I am bleeding?’ ” she recalled. “Some were using rags or soil or mud.” Because of those lost school days, many eventually dropped out. So Ms. Tobiko recently teamed up with the Girl Child Network and other N.G.O.s here and started a project in the countryside to distribute free sanitary napkins. They have targeted 500,000 girls, and so far have reached 189,000. More school days means more educated women and better mothers.

“We’re keeping girls in school,” said Ms. Tobiko. If women get education, “we want nothing else,” she added. “We will fight our way into every field, but we need the main key — which is education.”

Kenya first began holding multiparty elections in 1992, and its next national election is slated for December. (By the way, Kenyans love the fact that Barack Obama, whose father was Kenyan, is running for president of the U.S. since, they joke, someone from his Luo tribe could never get elected president of Kenya!) The field here is already crowded with presidential wannabes. But the most revealing conversation I had on this subject was with someone not running.

Vimal Shah owns an oil services company in Kenya, Bidco, and he was eager to tell me that with eight months until the election he had decided to make a big investment to expand his business. So what? I said. “People here never invest in the year before an election,” he explained. The fear is always that the new guy will change all the rules — often for his cronies. But Mr. Shah, like others here, believes Kenya’s evolution to democracy, with more transparent rules, has now reached a point where “even if the government changes, it won’t change the rules. The politicians can’t stop this.”

It is striking how just the little improvement in governance here can start a torrent of cash flowing in. But so could more cellphones.

Rose Lukalo Owino, a Kenyan author, told me this story: “I was recently in Ngutani, east of Nairobi. I was reporting for a book and interviewing these women who raised goats.” The women complained that for years they had been swindled by middlemen who would get them to sell their goats for a pittance, because the women didn’t know the price in the Nairobi markets. “But when I interviewed them, these women were holding so much money,” said Ms. Owino. Why? Fourteen villages got together and bought one cellphone, which they now share to check the market prices in Nairobi for goats before they sell. “They were talking to me about opening a microlending bank with their profits,” she said.

But Africa doesn’t just need more phone models. It needs more role models. I met one of the best here — Paul Tergat, the great Kenyan distance runner who’s earned five world cross country championships and two Olympic silver medals. Mr. Tergat recently won a contract from the government to promote anticorruption themes. For starters, he organized some of Kenya’s greatest distance runners to carry a torch from Mombasa to the Ugandan border. The torch represented a spotlight on corruption. Kenyans turned out to cheer them all along the route.

He used Kenya’s runners, Mr. Tergat said, because unlike politicians, when they win a medal it “is open, and genuine, and clean, and they practiced for 10 years to get it. The message is to say to young people, ‘Look here, you don’t have to be corrupt. You can do it if you are patient.’ ”

Add all this up and you have what impresses me most here: the way Kenya’s emerging democracy is unlocking Kenya’s best minds to find Kenyan solutions to Kenya’s problems.

I wrote this about a year ago for Wangari Mathai

2007-04-02T09:37:00.000-07:00

Whispering Willows

I sit, staring out of the window
Looking past the willows,
Swaying in the mild and mellow wind,
Swaying like whispering palm trees,
Whispering soft calls for salvation,
Whispering soft sighs, longing for self preservation,
Whispering…
“I know he’s coming!
Can you hear him?
I know he’s coming,
Coming to cut me down,
To hack through my skin,
To watch me bleed and not care,
Coz it’s all right as long as no one stands and calls this unfair.

Wait! You can do it! You can be the one!
You can defend me
You can make him go away!”

I’m taken aback,
Unsure of how to respond,
Why me? Why do I have to do the defending?
I need defending!

I feel a churning in my stomach,
Feels like that ‘fear of the unknown’ kind of feeling,
That all too well known kind of feeling,
That ‘afraid to get up on stage’ kind of feeling,
Like that ‘how can I pick you up when I’m kneeling’ kinda feeling

I want to back out, back up,
Sit back, rewind, get out of the way,
Do anything but sit down, and stick this through,
Do anything but stay
I want to wait, at least until tomorrow,
Why??
Coz this isn’t easy!!
Its never easy, the walk to action is never easy.

I reminisce,
It was so easy, back in the day…
Yeah, it’s always easier back in the day
Why else would people sing song like
“Bring back those simple days of, yesterday…”
But is it really? I think not!
Coz when my eyes emerge from behind the veil,
And the smoke screen of illusion and fantasy is pushed aside
I see that yesterday is just as hard as today is just as hard as tomorrow,
Is just as beautiful as yesterday, today and tomorrow,
But the fact is, all we have is today
Not tomorrow,
Not yesterday,
Just today
I know it’s not easy
But as Nelson Mandela said
“There is no easy walk to freedom”

Scenes flash before my eyes
It’s the whispering palms again
They are speaking to me again!
This time not with words but through pictures
Pictures strung together with invisible seams
Pictures strung together to form scenes
Scenes too harsh and terrible to put back into words
Words lack the weight to express the hurt
Hurt so deep it threatens to drown me, leaving me aimlessly drifting into oblivion

I think I finally understand
Because now as I see the man approaching,
Wielding his axe high in the air, like a soldier ready for battle
I shudder at the thought of what I know I am about to see

The axe begins its ominous decent
3 NO! Don’t do it!!!

2 STOP!! You don’t understand!!!

1 STOP!!!!
BANG!!

I cringe as I see the axe sink six inches into the willow
And I hear the familiar crack of breaking bark and splitting skin
But alas!
The tree doesn’t bleed!
Instead, a steady stream of red comes coursing out of the mans side,
The blood is dark, as if tainted with sadness
I finally understand

So I turn back to the willows
Swaying in the mild and mellow wind, as the North wind bellows
Swaying like whispering palms that speak in my dreams
Whispering soft calls for salvation
Whispering soft sighs, longing for self preservation
I turn to them and say,
“I WILL defend you.”

Women's/Fashion Magazines and the African renaissance

2007-03-15T08:23:00.000-07:00

I am impressed by the number of new women’s magazines in the, "for Africa by Africa" space. Not only the number but the equality. It shows that people have stopped whining about the miss representation of Africa in western media and are really stepping up to the challenge of self-representation. Self-representation is the only way for to destroy the myopic view of Africa as synonymous with naked starving children with big bellies and despotic dictatorial leaders, also with big bellies but for entirely different reasons.

I recently came across two such magazines with compelling online presences. The first is "Kitu Kizuri" and the second id called "Mimi". Notice that both these magazines spot Swahili names yet they are related only in subject matter. I think that this is a sign of the progressive recognition of the phonetic beauty of the Swahili language and African languages in general.

I am currently in the process of getting involved int the creation of yet another magazine, this time with a more Nigerian focus. The magazine is called BHF and is sure to me a major player in this space. The team leading it is very visionary and I’m looking forward to big things.

BALLER-ITIS

2007-03-02T13:28:00.000-08:00

Scientific name - ballinus confusicus. Also known as ballin' fever.
(definition) - A condition in which an individual is under the illusion of financial prosperity due the acquisition of a sum of money that is large relative to the average content of their bank account.
(The terms are suspected to have been coined by me as I was was through jester towards the PCL)

Typical causes include receiving an open ended scholarship, a grant and in some cases a monthly paychecks (though these are known to cause relatively mild attacks). Internships are an especially virulent cause of baller-itis amongst college students.

Symptoms typically include feelings of excessive euphoria, a sharp increase in trips to the mall. Victims are often seen spotting a selection new kicks with pairs being interchanged in rapid succession.

Contrary to popular belief, the use of the word 'Ballin!', even when accompanied with the 'free throw' hand motion is not a sign of a baller-itis attack.

Some popular cures include, frequent glances at ones tuition loan statement and/or maxed out credit card statement. Repeatedly chanting the Marta "The money is all in my mind", many also help. For extreme cases it is recommended that you take one of your maxed out credit cards and swipe it at two or three convenience stores. Adding a high fashion store at the local mall to the list will increase impact but this should only be done as a last resort.

If you are suffering, or like me, have survived an attack of baller-itis, please feel free to comment on this.

LUPE-PHANY

2007-02-27T00:15:00.000-08:00

Lupephany (definition) - That moment when the realization of the profundity of a certain section of a Lupe Fiasco song hits you like a cannon ball in the head.
Also sometimes called a 'some times it be like dang!' moment. It is usually triggered by the sudden elucidation of a metaphor or allegory used in one of the verses in the song and is in extreme cases accompanied the gaining of a whole new perspective on the song.

Root of the word:
Lupe Fiasco - the world famous 3 time Grammy nominated rapper/lyricist extraordinaire, leader of the f n' f crew and one of the deepest minds out in the entertainment industry right now.

Epiphany - a sudden realization or comprehension of the essence or meaning of something.

(The word is suspected to have been coined by me while walking from his apartment to the FAC.)

I just had one of these today and it blows my mind every time. If you've had a lupephany feel free to comment and tell me what it was.

And so it seems.... that you got me :)

2007-02-24T17:17:00.000-08:00

Last night I went to the greatest concert I have seen thus far! Get this... THE ROOTS!! And as if that wasn't enough, LUPE FIASCO as the opening act! It was crazy. Needless to say, my voice was already gone by the time the opening act was over.
Then Lupe came on. It was ridiculous!! I can remember the crazy feeling when "Instrumental" began to play!! I thought my head would explode! It sounds even better live and literally 3 feet from Lupe Fiasco himself! I was there droppin' lyrics with the best of em', me and my African crew. I seriously could have watched him perform the entire album, but alas! (I can't believe people don't say that here), it was not to be.

Ude Lupe

The roots came on stage playing an assortment of percussion instruments and proceeded to rile up the crown with all manner of stage theatrics including a musical battle between an electrical guitar and a tuba! under the masterful hands of Kirk and Tuba Gooding jr.
The music defied conventional classification, I gave up trying somewhere between Justin Timberlake’s 'Bringing sexy back' and The Polices 'Roxanne'. Then there were Roots staples like "you got me" that just blew everyone’s mind.

The ROOTS!

The thing that really topped it all off though was how chilled out they all were, the whole band, save for questlove, came and chilled and took pictures with the Afro-fantastic crew! It was amazing!

Notice how the audience is almost overpowering the Lupe! rediculous!

And thus begins the Johny k book club

2007-02-16T22:55:00.000-08:00

I have been coming across some really good litarature of late and for the first time in a long time I am actually finding the time to read books outside those prescribed by my sylabus.
To celebrate this new found freedom I have decided to Let you know what books I have found particularly amusing or enlightening and recommends them to you. I may or may not go into an in depth analysis of each title depending on how much time I have and how compelled I feel to do so.

The first book I will recommend is 'The blacker the berry' by Wallace Thurman which, incidentally, I came a cross in one of my classes last semester (Intro to African American History; wonderful class).
The book mainly deals with the issue of colorism and preference for light skin within the black community. It is set, for the most part against the backdrop of the Harlem Renaissance, a time period that have become increasingly fascinated by.
Wallace Thurman provides a short but enthralling ride through one African American girls journey of self discovery and through this journey tackles colorism, racial uplift, identity and self worth among other issues.
All in all, its a really nice read and a worthy first book for the Johny k book club!

Thoughts on loyalty in Africa

2007-02-15T22:23:00.001-08:00

A week or so ago, bbc.co.uk had a comments request on a topic that I have strong oppinions on; whether tribal loyalties tramp national loyalties in Africa. I was lazy and missed the opportunity to post up my comment. Hence I have decided to post it up on the second most trusted news source in the world, facebook!

I contend that loyalty in Africa in the context of the question above is a generational issue. The generation of our fathers have little or no loyalty to the nations they govern and consider tribes as communities more deserving of theiraliegence. Our generation on the other hand identifies more strongly with the nations we are from

I think this is an important issue to look at because it is one of the things that signify a big rift between the generation of our fathers i.e. those that were present 40+ years ago when each of our African countries were gaining the independence, and our generation i.e the 20- somethings (and 30-somethings to some extent).

When most of our fathers were born there was no such thing as the republic of Kenya or Uganda or Nigeria. In my particular case, my parents were born into the British East African protectorate, an organizational entity that neither sought nor deserved their loyalty. They had no nation to call their own. They were ruled by foreigners who's interests were in exploiting the lands natural resources and repatriating profits back to England. The tribe was the most legitimate unit to which one was expected to pledge allegiance. And thus that is what they did by enlarge.

When Independence came, the nations we currently live in were thrust upon them and as history will attest they were for the most part ill prepared for these responsibilities. There was now a new organizational unit that no doubt held more legitimacy than the protectorate but was still an amorphous amalgam of many little tribes that in some cases had a history violent conflict. They were expected to all of a sudden kiss and make up because someone had drawn a line around their lands and declared them a nation. Needless to say this was an irrational expectation and, given the circumstances, things might have turned out a lot worse than they have been, at least in Kenya. Without a truly compelling reason to shift loyalties, their allegiance remained in the tribe.

Our generation on the other had is the first to be born into these new nations. They are all we have ever known and hold just as much legitimacy as the tribes into which we were born. Of course we still have to contend with the influence of parents, elders and leaders whose mindsets are still tribally based, but we regard being Kenyan, Nigerian or Cameroonian more as a matter of fact than a matter of choice and this makes it much easier for us to ally our selves with country rather than tribe. This is one of the oft ignored generational differences that will make a big difference in the way Africa emerges from its ashes in the years to come.

So to tie it all up, the generation of our parents are understandably more aligent to their tribes than they are to they countries, but it is quite the opposite with our generation.

The mind is a single stream pipeline instrument

2007-02-15T22:21:00.000-08:00

Recently I have been blowin up my wind with some knowledge of Lupe Fiascos latest album. I like that it makes me think and entertains me as well. these two, contrary to popular wisdom and not mutually exclusive ends.

Dont be fooled, with your mind, its garbage in, garbage out..

Here is a verse from the song American terrorist by lupe:

we came through the storm nooses on our necks
and a smallpox blanket to keep us warm
on a 747 on the pentagon lawn
wake up the alarm clock is connected to a bomb
anthrax lab on a w. virginia farm
shorty aint learned to walk already heavily armed
civilians and little children is especially harmed
camoflouged torahs, bibles and glorious qurans
the books that take you to heaven and let you meet the Lord there
have become misinterpreted, reasons for warfare
we read em with blind eyes i guarantee u there's more there
the rich must be blind b/c they didnt see the poor there
need to open up a park, just close 10 schools
we dont need em
can u please call the fire department they're down here marchin for freedom
burn down their TV's, turn their TV's on to teach em

>: DONT JUDGE OTHER PEOPLE!!!!

2006-07-26T17:28:00.000-07:00

Thats pretty much it... Oh and New York is a place like no other, I'm really going to miss it.

>: Racism

2006-07-15T23:00:00.000-07:00

If you think that racism doesn't exist, come and help me catch a cab in New York

Union square is lovely

Take time to walk alone through your city, when it is cool outside, you see so much more

Kenyan beaches are the best

You Dont have to be like anyone else, just be you

Normal people, are more often than not just regular people, there is really no such thing as a 'normal' person

I like cheese movies with corney happy endings

Clubing gets old

God bless Alexanda Bells decendants

God BLESS ME!!! (please :))

>: shape shifting

2006-06-27T19:38:00.000-07:00

I think im the world’s biggest chameleon, at least at times.
Sort of a reverse chameleon, kinda, well anyway, the reason is, unlike a chameleon
which changes its colour to match that of its surroundings so that it can feel
more comfortable and secure in that environment, I tend to colour change and
shape shift so as to make my environment and those around it more comfortable
with me.

I think I could make almost anyone comfortable with me (well except maybe a
white supremacist, that ones a tough one...). Sometimes the skill comes in
handy when it comes to negotiating in situations where diplomacy is of the
essence, being able to shift around greatly increases my ability to employ tact
in these situations. For one thing, in able to use the ability properly, I need
to know what to change into before I change, this intrinsically necessitates careful
analysis of the environment, a skill I have been honing for quite some time
now. I analyze and I analyze fast... lots of subtle cues tell me a whole lot
about my surroundings and those in. It’s often not quite necessary for me to
see things happening, I make inferences and have on many occasions been proved
right. I take pleasure in making the inference then not telling anyone and
watching as the true slowly appears to the less observant.

Its not entirely a good thing though, with the power of diplomacy comes a
serious side effect that I will call jellyfishisis, a grave condition characterized
by lack of backbone and/or concrete resolve. Not to be confused with lack of will,
and ability to deliver. I am wroth to break a promise that I make, when it is
made to someone other than me. You can take a promise that I make to you to the
bank. Promises to myself on the other hand are often not worth the paper they
are written. Hence my total inability to maintain a regular exercise schedule,
time table or properly execute any other task that would involve extended
periods of self regulation.

Anyway it is an ability that I have just the same and I am going to make the
most of it whilst I have it, I hope God shows me why he gave it to me.

>: WOW! Ravelers weekend at weeks-end

2006-06-25T19:06:00.000-07:00

MOvida

This was a crazy weekend considering i had resolutely decided on Friday that i wasnt going to go out coz my throught was aching from some cold i seem to be catching. Well long story short, i ended up going out every night this weekend and i cant say i regret the decission one but. Ofcourse my head now feels like a 10kg brick on my shoulder on account of the now agrivated cold.

I went to 2 clubs, Movida on friday at which the bounce was wearing girls shoes, ripped jeans and was actually skinnier than me, which is saying something. The techno was bangin tho and after we got done with the noble task of chasing away all the pseudo-sophisticated people who were filling up the upper dance floor but feeling too cool to dance, we were dancing the night away until about 3:30 am.

The second was 'Manhattan' on sato night, now this was FUNNNNN! We were supposed to actually be going to this egyptian lounge called tuts but there was a fire inspection there so no one was being let in. Turned out pretty well. I had such a good time and met a whole bunch of interesting people, danced like my life depended on it and then some. The DJ on the lower dance floor was off the chains!Thank you mister DJ. We were clubbing till about 4:30am

Found a church and went for the 11:15am, i wasnt really what i was expecting but it was a wonderfull service and the church is nice, think ill be going to this one.

Well work again tomorrow. This is midsummer evalation week, pray for a good review for me will ya!!

Cheers

PS. Still trying to hook up a plot for the the coming long weekend. Any adeas for a brotha in NYC?

> : Yesterdays life lesson

2006-06-20T18:37:00.000-07:00

Never put ramen noodles in the microwave without water then proceed to leave the appartment and go so laundry, whilst leaving unsuspecting room mate asleep...

>: Hungry in New York

2006-06-15T21:02:00.000-07:00

Ive been in the big apple for about 3 weeks now and im still being facinated at every turn. Its an amazing city to say the least and I'd be lying if i said that it hasn't started working its magic (good or bad) on me. I think i began to change the minute I got of the supper shuttle from la guardia, it in the air you breath here, New York seeps into your skin, through your pores, its an inevitably. You cant escape it by running away.

The only way to get away (if you wish to), is to take it all in, let it seep in then, work your way through the haze of you 'big city life high' and convince your self that the bright lichts and colors are just but an illusion, the city is a mistress you can only escape by conquering. I dont know what i think of new york, i think, like any other place it has its good and bad effects.Onething that really got me from the get-go was how much it reminds me of Nairobi.

See to me new york is not so much a city as it is a culture, a way of living, a sort of zeitgeist, a spirit, a mood, a state of being. From thelittle observing that i have doe so far, i feel you can 'be new york' in LA, you can 'be new york' in dallas, or florida, yes even Arlinnton Texas. Its just that the big city 'defaults' one to 'being new york' and so its easier here to be that way where as in Arlington it takes a pretty serious consious effort to 'be new york'.

But anyway, if your wondering why NYC reminds me of NAI, its coz you walk down some streets and its like walking down that road for odeon cinema, guys are on the hustle mbaya mbovu! as in this is the first time since i left kenya that i have seen jamaz selling bootleg dvds layed out on black polithin bags on the side walks, selling used books, wooden girraffs and other trinkets out of carts. little shops with the same set of merchendise populate whole streets, its like de ja vue avenue half the time around here. its pretty amazing, and this is in the financial district by the way, bartly a block away from the famous wall street (speaking of witch i went and saw and touched the wall street bull, the ultimate simble of capitalism, dont know whether to kiss it or burn it...), guys wana hastle 24-7-365 bana and it aint no joke.

oh and its irreverently expensive here, im yet to eat a meal that i can say i really enjoyed here, (i must admit they have some excelent pizza though). im not going to speak about how expensive it is here coz it will spoil my mood, but just know that it is.

Jersey city seems so laid back, so chilled, so slow, so... country when your coming straingt out of the city, its strange coz its a whole lot more alive and vibrant than the sity where i live but now i look at it and im like, who slowed down the planet!? weird... im taking it in though, working on concuring it, once i get a back balance of some kind i ill purchase a mini wall street bull to remind me of what i have to conquor to achieve my dreams for my country (Kenya) and my continent (Africa). Mine is a battle fought in my opponents camp, while studying his training equpment, observing his training teqnic and stealling his secret tactics, using them for the benefit of those that are withme in the struggle to elevate richest continent on the planet to its rightfull position.

Aluta continua!

>: DALLAS!!! enroute to New York

2006-05-24T08:11:00.000-07:00

Yeah, ive been in dallas for a while now, since Thursday last week actulally, school ended and now im looking forward to the NYC!! Its Monday now and I must say that today was a really productive day, I did a lot of stuff that I have been putting off for aproximately, mostof it to do with NYC. I think I finally figured out how the road systems in this country work, I think… the roads literaly don’t change names until you take a corner, well I guess they eventually do but it takes quite a while. This combined with the fact they all cross each other ina grid formation actualy makes it pretty easy to navigate, tomorrow im planning to try to get to Los Collinas all by my lonesome. Hope I can make it.

I can believe my sis is already 16!!! I cant belive it!! Her birthday was actually some time back but I guess it never really hit me until today when it was mentioned in a casual conversation. I litteraly cant picture it in my head. Fo real I’ve been away way too long, im miss all their growing up! Sniff…

Just got through watching ‘the island’, pretty good movie, a little of stretch but still good, the African guy from Amistad (which I am ashamed to say I haven’t watched… yet) is in it and you know African and Sci Fi are two things that could sell me on almost any movie. Well its 3am now, I wonderi if ill be able to wake up on time to run all my erands kesho, hope so, insh Alah.

Im almost through with the python ideo tutorial, It has been really enjoyable and I would really really recommend it to anyone who would like to learn the language. Ideas of how to raise capital are still percolating in my mind and we about to brainstorm on them, still working on other stuff too. No time to waste, wakati ni mbesha! . The kengen IPO went through the roof as predicted, literaly quadrupled at the close of the first day it traded, Kudos people.

Africans Unite!!!

>:the price of internet access

2006-05-15T13:27:00.000-07:00

Here's an interesting post i found on whiteafrican

>: All roads lead to egypt

2006-05-15T10:17:00.000-07:00

I want to go to Egypt
And when I go to Egypt
Well, then I’ll be in Egypt
And I’ll see all there is to see in Egypt
Because Egypt is where I’ll be.

And when I’ve been to Egypt,
I’ll tell you all about Egypt,
Because I’ll have been to Egypt,
And seen what is in Egypt to see.

Will you come with me to Egypt?
When I go to Egypt?
To see all there is in Egypt?
Because Egypt is where we’ll be?

Egypt, Egypt, Egypt,
Oh Egypt here we come
We’re on our way to Egypt,
Yes Egypt’s where we’ll be.

Just in case you’re wondering why suddenly all about Egypt, we’re googlebombing for Alaa Abdel Fatah, an Egyptian blogger recently detained by the Egyptian government for participating in a peaceful protest.

All roads lead to Egypt. So to Egypt we will go. See you in Egypt.

>: No more Finals!!!!!!!!!!!!

2006-05-14T13:42:00.000-07:00

As the post suggest im just too happy tooo happy to be finally done with finals, yanii it was begining to be a bit too much, now its just muenjoyo and lounging until i head of to the NYC baby! these pas tfew weeks have been nothing but study to put it mildly but God has come through for me in was that are beyond description and I just want to uencourage y'all to get used to asking Mungu for the imossible, he likes a challange coz you know there aint nothin that can phase Him.
A good friend of mine is gonna be leaving UT this semester, she is absolutely, positively the most 110% real person that I have ever met and i am soo so sad to see her leave but im sure that she has a special calling where she is going and she will be a blessing wherever she goes.
We had an African dinner jana after miy final and I 'made' my now famous chicken, as usaual we ended up talking and just hanging out until about 4 in the morning, it was fun. Speaking of parties, here is a pic from my other friend birthday party, notice the sweat from the SIRIOUS katikaing that we always get up to :-) I love ASA parties coz we are the only people who can throw a party without alchohal and still get everyone wanting to come and dancing non stop till 6 in the morning! I feel most people tend to 'buy' party attendees with the promise of alchohal, free or otherwise, then count on pint to get them too wasted to remember how much the night sucked.
Anyway...

>: The interview of Joshua Noreh (test tube babies)

2006-05-13T02:04:00.000-07:00

He was an orphan, he is now a celebrity
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Another inspiring story from Kenya, this exeplifies the tanatious nature of the generation thats going to change my country. Kudos Joshua.

Taken from The East African Standard Friday 12th 2006
By Abiya Achola

Doctor Joshua Noreh, the man behind the historic medical achievement of In-Vitro Fertilisation (IVF) was an orphan who made it in school through sheer determination.

Dr Joshua Noreh, during the interview yesterday

Although he was orphaned at a tender age of five years, today, the 46-year-old gynaecologist has risen to the charts of Kenya’s most treasured medics. He cruised through difficulties to turn around his situation. But even as he was steeled by his determination to make it in life, he probably never thought that he would change the course of medicine in his country. Today Prof Noreh is basking in the glory of giving Kenya the first test tube baby through the Intro Vitro Technology now in wide use in the developed world.

Noreh’s mother, Priscilla, died when he was five while his father Elisha passed on six years later. The demise of his parents left him in the hands of his eldest sister Neddy Mudereganyi Noreh and Wilson Godia Noreh. Neddy worked with Barclays Bank while Godia is the director of Kenya Society for the Blind. In the hands of these two, a national celebrity was nurtured.

A visit to his home in Voi village in Kapsengere location portrays humility. His house, on the three-acre land, is an old Victorian brick house constructed by his father way back in 1965.

The second last-born child in a family of seven, Dr Noreh was brought up in a strict Christian family attending the local Pentecostal Assemblies of God Church or Anglican Church.

The orphaned family passed through difficult times. Although Neddy and Godia paid for his school fees, the young Joshua supplemented this by engaging in cabbage production, which he sold at the market.

A young Joshua Noreh (seated left) with his family members in a file photo in the early 1960’s

While at the University, Dr Noreh continued with farming Sukuma Wiki, (Kales) which he sold and got pocket money. He, in fact, bought a pick up truck from the proceeds.

Dr Noreh’s history is one of humility, respect and hard work. He made a timetable while at home, which he strictly followed as if it was a Bible.

"He is a God fearing man and a teetotaller. Even after making it to the university to study medicine, pride never took over his manners," said Neddy.

She says her younger sibling was always good in sciences and often wanted to be a physician after at a tender age the young Joshua witnessed a horrifying train accident and watched helplessly as victims bled and writhed in pain.

"We are happy that our son has soared high in medicine. It is satisfying that he comes from such humble background," Neddy told The Saturday Standard at the quiet home in the picturesque Aldai area of the Nandi escarpment.

In April 2004, Dr Noreh approached Neddy with the idea that he planned to undertake a delicate experiment on IVF.

Because charity begins at home, he asked the local church in Kapsengere to pray for him as he undertook the fragile task.

"He asked me to ask the church here to pray for him. He said the aim was not to make huge profits but to assist the many couples who cannot have children," she said adding that the success of Dr Noreh’s experiment was the joy of the family, relatives and church who have given him support through prayer.

Rev Benjamin Saina of ACK Gambo Parish said the gynaecologist has continuously briefed him on the progress of the IVF project.

"Basically, I am a conservative so I grilled him and he told me the intention was to give hope to couples who cannot afford to go overseas to have IVF and yet they want children. I readily accepted and I have prayed for the project," said Rev Saina.

He said the community was jubilant that their son had made a big difference. "He has brought hope to many disadvantaged couples," he said.

"Just before the press highlighted the new development, Dr Noreh had already telephoned us saying he was almost through with the experiment and we should be prepared for the major announcement," said Rev Saina.

Neddy says there was jubilation in the village adding the family has hosted several delegations from local churches who have paid tribute to the doctor.

"We are planning a grand reception for our son. Many people have pledged to come and it will be a real party coupled with prayers because this was God’s glory," she said.

Dr Noreh was born in 1960 to Elisha Noreh and Priscilla Angano. He went to Nyang’ori Primary School and Nyang’ori Secondary. He scored a Division One with 17 points and proceeded to Mangu High School for his A-Levels.

He joined the University of Nairobi for a bachelor’s degree in medicine. He completed in 1987 and worked at the Kakamega Provincial Hospital until 1991 before starting a clinic in Nairobi.

Neddy says that Dr Noreh’s success is a big lesson to other orphans that they should not give up hope in life but work hard so that they could make a difference in the society

me i love kenya just the same

2006-05-12T17:43:00.000-07:00

You know what, yeah, most of the time the news comin from back home sucks, and I get mad. But I love kenya all the same and I'm going to play my part to make it better. for those of you who havent heard 'homesick' by wawesh, you should

Quote: A patriot should always be ready to protect his country from his government - (I forget who said this)

Farm subsidies

2006-05-07T23:35:00.000-07:00

Hey,

Its been a busy week, finals coming up and im trying to stay on top of things. Going good so far an di hope it keeps getting better. Jana was my sisi's birth day and i wasn't even able to call her yanni, i feel mbaya, but i'll make sure I do soon. Anyway I read this interesting blog on 'soul on ice's blog and thought id reproduce it here since i really dont have time to blog a long one.

Was listening to a radio show about the Chealsea flower show. One of the organisers was on a big rant how the proposed hose pipe ban would kill off this prestigious event. A cynical smile crept over my face. In Somalia citizens and animal are dying from the lack of this liquid gold and here's a guy ranting over a stupid flower show? Makes you want to pick up the phone and scream at the fool. But you check yourself. This is his concern and the plight of people in a faraway land doesnt cut into his world view. but no. it's his world view that's kept these people from developing a strategy to deal with mother nature's fury. I pray for the Somalians cos the drought is a vicious one. don't waste the water.

So this is all about world view. Some things make you pull your hair out and moan. Take the farm subsidy for example. This ish was put in place to help Europe redevelop their agricultural industry after the second world war. war's long over so why is it still in place? whats the point of trade talks when the landscape is unbalanced. and what do they do with the money anyway? found this great letter in a newspaper, The Captial News (right wing but i tend to read all sorts anyway, gotta know what the others are saying):

Open Letter to the UK secretary of state for agriculture

Sir,

My friend, who is in farming at the moment, received a cheque for £3,000 from the government for not rearing pigs. I now wish to go into the rearing pigs' business.

In your opinion, what is the best kind of farm not to rear pigs on, and which is the best breed of pigs not to rear? I want to be sure I approach this endeavour in keeping with all government policies, as dictated by the EU under the Common Agricultural Policy.

I would prefer not to rear bacon pigs, but if this is not the type you want rearing. I will just as gladly not rear porkers. Are there any advantages in not rearing breeds such as Saddlebacks or Gloucester Old spots, or are there too many people already not rearing these?

As I see it the hardest part of this programme will be keepping an accurate of how many pigs I haven't reared.

Are there any Government Local Authority courses on this? My friend is very satisfied with this business. He has reared pigs for twenty years or so, the best he ever made on them was £1,422 in 1968 until this year when he received a cheque for not rearing any.

If I get £3,000 for not rearing 50 pigs will i get £6000 for not rearing 100?

I plan to operate on a small scale at first, holding myself down to about 4,000 pigs not raised which will mean about £240,000 for the first year. Then I can afford to buy an aeroplane.

Another point. These pigs I plan not to rear will not eat 2,000 tons of cereals. I understand that you also pay farmers for not growing crops. Will I qualify for payments for not growing cereals to not feed the pigs i don't rear? I am also considering the not milking cows business so please send me the information you have on that to. Please could you also include the Government information on set-aside fields? Can this be done on an e-commercial basis with virtual-reality fields?

In view of the above you will realise I will be totally unemployed, and will qualify for unemployment benefit. I shalll of course vote for you at the next general election.

Sincerely

The Laughing No-Pig Farmer.

cool new service for bloggers

2006-05-02T22:55:00.000-07:00

This is something that should be very intersting to all those bloggers with access, just read about this sit called blurb that actually lets you creat a real offline book form blogs and other online content! yanni you get it printed in hard cover with custom cover jacket with prices starting at jst $30 dollars. I think it could make for some very interesting and inovative memrabilia (think a quarterly or annual hard cover edition of the best of the KBW, now thats somwthing i would buy! plus it would raise money for KWB to be able to do even greater things). think on it people... and check it out here.

Ps got through my second last test leo, or should I jana since its technically wednesday now, hopefully the last one before finals is leo. prey people.
Random thought: of late im finding kenyan news more depressing than usual, amusement if fast turning into disgust, the antics of those so called leaders.... let me stop...

>: Of finding time and strange new interests

2006-05-01T20:26:00.000-07:00

Ok ive finally come to the realization that if i dont just stop an dblog i will never 'find the time' yanni there are just oo many things wrestling for the 24hours i have. Anyway, a lot has cut since my last post and now im blogging i think more form the fear of forgeting the most important developments than from having finally settled down to doing so. On to it then...

first of all i must say, last week was simply a miracle! big up to M-U-N-G-U, due to a combination of excess work in some classes and a chroic case pf 'procatination-itis' i found my self 7 chapters behind in one of my classes that wouldn't have been so bad if not for the fact that this is a self passed class and this you have to take a test before moving to the next chapter! anyway the long and short of it is that i ombad and God just worked wonders and bearly a week latter im on the brink of finishng all the chapters ahead of shedual!

I have developed to strange new inerest (starange at least to me). the first is country music (courtasy of rascal flatts), i don't know... maybe im just getting old... but the songs are sounding so sweet its not evenn funny, i find myself singing out in the halways forgeting that no one else can hear the music blearing out the ear buds of my ipod (which i got free by the way, but do i say). I mean i thing ive know for some time now that i was a 'closet country fan'. I remember musing to myself some time back that its (with roots regea as the other) is one of the two genre's where there is still some sort of positive social message in thelyrics (som o dat positvie vibration :-) but now i think my love for the music i think has been catalised by the Texas air, im sure there is some 'texifiying agent ' floating around thats responsible for imarting southern tensdancies on any who dare to venture into these parts, so travellers be war lest you unwittingly suffer my fate (ramndo fact: Country is te biggest selling genre in the country, yes, higher than rock! true story).

ok the other facination/strange new interest is Kiswahili! who'd a thunk! this coming from a man who swore never to utter another word of swa after kcse was over and done with. why lie high school swa with its strange obsetion with 'ngeli' all other incurambly boring aspects o fthe language is nothing if not pure torture and more suited to killing the interest all buut the most ardent fans of the language, add to the mix a medicur set book like 'siku njema' and you have the silver bullet. Well i think having been distanced from all things swahili for quite a bit of time now has given me time to heal and now i find myself inextricabl drawn to the swahili blogs on KBW just to read and hear the sounds of the words in my head. having grown up in mombasa raha, my 'mental swahili voice' (unlike my real one) is quite nice to listen to if i do say so my self :-) anyway so that the other strange interest ive developed.

the 'save darfur rally' jana and regretably i was unable to go since i had a bunch of catching to do, bought the t-shirt though and will be repin it all over the place, ill take a pic and blog it soon.

one

> AHHHHHHH!!!! Fort Minor!!!

2006-04-13T01:50:00.000-07:00

I can't believe it!!! i just had to post on this! i cant believe it!! for any of you linkin park fans out there y'all are gonna FREAK OUT!!! Mike Shinoda (yes the man himself) Has dropped a Hip album and its SICK!!!!! Hes called Fort Minor for his hip hp act. Man its first single is already going up the charts like a flame a up an oiled rope. All i can say is 'where's you go' and 'remember the name' are some of the best tracks ive heard, period, ever. that ryu kid hes got on the album sounds sick too! check out the link on the left

Hey! common ROCKKKKSS!!!

2006-04-06T02:19:00.000-07:00

The man himseluf:

Lots has happens since the last time i bloged (isnt that always the case), i wont write all about them but i really really have to emention the COMMON concert that took place last week, it was off the chains!!! to put it very very mildly, i mean that dude knows how to put ona good show haki ya nani. Yaani i was shouting so hard that like a quarter way through the concert my voice was so gone i couldnt even hear a sqeek!

Heres a pic of be shouting my head off:

yaani the jama breakdanced on stage and even free styled about UT bana! it was bumpin.
been doing the night shift for the past few weeks. sleeping at about 5am on average. I dont think i would have servived this past round of exams with out doing that though its really starting to take its tole on me. Of coures i have found my self feeling to busy to do my devotion and the usuall consequences have followed, when will i ever learn, i dont know how God puts up with it, with me... anyway, i guess thats why ananibamba.

gonna try and keep in touch with my peeps around the continent more often, i came to the realization that friendships, true friendships are extremely important and should always be nurtured. oh did i mention that i won an ipod shuffle some time back which has become a permanent fixture around my neck. quite sad reaally but hey 'wettin man go do' :-).
check out this new blog on kenyan soccer i think its a really cool idea

More than you can ask or imagine

2006-03-14T10:11:00.000-08:00

I just want to say the, for real, when God says that he will give you more than yo can ask or imagine, he really means it. Man, don't underestimate Him for real. especially when you feel that he has a plan for you but you dont know how its gonna come together, it will come together, so just trust and be easy coz for real He is unstoppable!

Well I've spent almost half of spring break in school now, and you know what, I've had soooo much fun its crazy!! went to see 16 blocks on saturday (fantastic movie! you absolutely do not want to miss this one!! for real) then went to eat out on sunday before chilling with friends lsting to music in the evening. Had to work till four on monday (gotta make that money) butit was that bad, plus me and some hottt friends went to san marcos and did some shopping then came back and wathed Dave chappels block party which was pretty good (the music was absolutely fantastic) just that they curse ever 5 nano seconds!

Turns out ill be spending summer in New York! :-) (was in 'the city' begining of last week by the way for an interview, ill reserve judgment on the city till i've been there longer.) that should be lots of fun, can't wait!

Going swimming today!! Will be training fro about an hour then just wallowing in the water with my hottt friends for another hour (in case your wondering, im using 'hottt' as the African alternative to 'awesome' coz i dislike that word and it has totally lost meaning in this country.)

Again i conclude by saying God is awesome/hottt (had to use it there coz he really his )

one
/>

>Play: Oscar for Africa by Africa!!

2006-03-09T10:37:00.000-08:00

Hey!!

Finally, the African film industry is starting to gain recognition on the world stage. With Tsotsi winning the oscar for best foreign film! One small step for Tsotsi, one giant leap for the African film industry! I hope to able to see it soon, then maybe i can blog more comprehensively about this. If you get a chance to see it, don't hesitate to let me know what you thought of it.

> Play: Whispering willows

2006-03-05T18:26:00.000-08:00

Here is a poem i wrote about Wangari mathai for our legends banquet on the 25th of Feb 2006. Who would have though i would ever write a poem about Wangari Mathai!?
Up Africa! Up!

"Seeing Kenya through the eyes of Kenyans will forever change the way you see the world." - Wangari Mathai

Whispering Willows

I sit staring out of the window
Looking past the willows,
Swaying in the mild and mellow wind
Swaying like whispering palm trees
Whispering soft calls for salvation
Whispering soft sighs, longing for self preservation
Whispering…
“I know he’s coming!
Can you hear them? NO?!
What so you mean?
What’s wrong with you?!
I know he’s coming
Coming to cut me down
To hack through my skin
To watch me bleed and not care
Coz its alright as long as no one stands and calls this unfair
But wait! You can do it! You can be the one!
You can defend me
You can make him go away!”

I’m taken aback
Unsure of how to respond
For one thing, trees aren’t supposed to talk!
So why do I keep hearing voices form the whispering palms?
And anyway, why me? Why do I have to do the defending?
I need defending!

I feel a churning in my stomach
Feels like that ‘fear of the unknown’ kind of feeling
That all too well known kind of feeling
That ‘afraid to get up on stage’ kind of feeling
Like that ‘how can I pick you up when I’m kneeling’ kinda feeling

I want to back out, back up
Sit back, rewind, get out of the way,
Do anything but sit down, and stick this through,
Do anything but stay

I want to wait, at least until tomorrow
Why??
Coz this isn’t easy!!
Its never easy, the walk to action is never easy.

I reminisce, thinking on times gone by
Its was so easy, back in the day
Yeah, it’s always easier back in the day
Os is it? Its must be right?
Otherwise why would people sing song like…
“Bring back those simple days of, yesterday…”
But is it really? I think not!
Coz when my eyes emerge from behind the vial
And the smoke screen of illusion and fantasy is pushed aside
I see that yesterday is just as hard as today is just as hard as tomorrow,
Is just as beautiful as yesterday, today and tomorrow,
But the fact is, all we have is today
Not tomorrow,
Not yesterday,
Just today
I know it’s not easy
But as Nelson Mandela said
“There is no easy walk to freedom”

Yeah, that’s easy for him to say!
Sure he was in prison for longer than I’ve been alive,
But now he’s an ex-president and people speak his name in hushed toned, with a reverence usually reserved for saints!
I on the other hand, I am just,… just… me!
Who’s going to listen to me?
Pleading, asking them to let the trees be
Who’s going to listen to me?

Scenes flash before my eyes
I can’t tell for sure but I have a feeling it’s the whispering palms again
They are speaking to me again!
This time not with words but with pictures
Pictures strung together with invisible seams
Pictures strung together to form scenes
Scenes too harsh and terrible to put back into words
Words lack the weight to express the hurt
Hurt so deep it threatens to drown me and leaving me aimlessly drifting into oblivion

I think I final understand
Because now as I see the man approaching,
Wielding his axe high in the air, like a soldier ready for battle
I shudder at the thought of what I know I am about to whiteness

The axe begins its ominous decent
3 NO! Don’t do it!!!

2 STOP!! You don’t understand!!!

1 STOP!!!!
BANG!!

I cringe as I see the axe sink six inches into the willow
And I hear the familiar crack of breaking bark and splitting skin
But alas!
The tree doesn’t bleed!
Instead, a steady stream of red comes coursing out of the mans side,
The blood is dark, as if tainted with sadness
I finally understand

So I turn back to the willows
Swaying in the mild and mellow wind as the north wind bellows
Swaying like whispering palms that speak in my dreams
Whispering soft calls for salvation
Whispering soft sighs, longing for self preservation
I turn to them and say,
“I WILL defend you.”

>Play: More on this later

2006-03-03T16:14:00.000-08:00

Dear President Kibaki,

On March 2, 2006 armed police raided the headquarters and printing plant of the East African Standard Group. In addition to destroying equipment including the printing presses and burning newspapers, they shut down the Kenyan Television Network television station.

This latest attack follows the jailing of three journalists from the East African Standard newspaper, attacks on the Citizen Weekly, and ongoing harassment of journalists by government-sponsored forces.

I urge you to:

* Condemn these attacks in the strongest terms possible.
* Dismiss any member of your government who played a role in the attacks.
* Live up to your promise to support freedom of the press.

==

Please copy and paste a copy of this letter on your blog. You may alter the wording to suit your needs.Campaign started by Keguro.

EDIT: Got to Mental's site NOW for Brilliant pics of the raid!

Image from mental's blog

The boys of baraka

2006-01-24T11:21:00.000-08:00

From the npr website, a synopsys of the film:

he documentary follows three African-American students who get the
opportunity to attend an academically rigorous school in Kenya designed
to give them a path out of the violence and poverty of inner-city
Baltimore.

I think this simply an amazing concept and definately set for great things, i have been searching the web for a means of purchasing the film not just for my self but also to screen for ASA maybe in conjunction with other on campus organizations that may be interested. I haven't had much luck yet though i did find out that the 'Inwood theater' in dallas will be screening it starting 3/17/2006, a bit far but hey at least its a start. I hear its also up for an Academy award! I cant wait to see it!.

Here is a link to the films website:
http://lokifilms.com/site/index.html

<< Rewind: Daylight Saving What!?

2006-01-19T12:57:00.000-08:00

Who would have thought that such a simple and routine procedure (as far as most Americans are concerned) could cause me so much strife and confusion!? I couldn’t believe it; people all over the continent were knowingly changing the time on every clock in sight, setting then back by one hour, A WHOLE HOUR! I was in utter and total disbelief.
Now you have to take into consideration that I come from a country that is dissected into two roughly equal parts by the equator. Consequently, year in year out, season after season, the sun rises at roughly 7am and sets at 7pm. Its like clock work! (Pun intended). When you have lived all your life in such an environment, the time on your watch or wall clock becomes one of those universal constant that no mere mortal has the right to tamper with lest he or she run the risk of upsetting the delicate balance of the universe. Like gravity and the polar coordinates, time and its consistency becomes one of those factors that hold the world together and no one would ever dream of tampering with it on the scale of what I was soon to observe courtesy of my first encounter with ‘daylight saving time’.
You may be wondering at this point whether we don’t even have times zones in my country, and if you are, the simple answer is ‘No’, for reasons I will soon make plain. Kenya is a country situated on the east coast of the continent of Africa bordered by Ethiopia, and Sudan to the North, Uganda and the Lake Victoria (Source of the Nile to the West), Tanzania to the South and the Indian Ocean and Somalia to the East. Despite having a section of the Great Rift Valley, the Serengeti and Mt. Kilimajaro (Africa’s highest Mountain) in it, it is still quite significantly smaller than Texas! Hence the entire country is in a single time zone. This only serves to further inculcate Kenyans with the notion of time being forever constant.
It is no surprise therefore that I was utterly flabbergasted when I heard that I was required to partake in this ritual of ‘daylight saving’ along with others who seamed a whole lot more comfortable with the exercise. Thousands of questions that seem absurd, even to me these few months later, were running through my mind and my confusion seemed to grow exponentially with every new one. ‘How dare they change time?’, ‘What if we forget to change it back?’ If we are gonna change it back anyway, why not just leave it as it is?’, ‘What difference does it really make if everyone knows that it’s 9 o’clock but we are going to call it 10 o’clock for a couple of months!?’. I was at a loss and panic was quickly setting in. The library closing one hour early was the straw the broke the camels back, I had enough of this. Indignant, I mused that a terrible injustice had been done to respecters of time the world over and as I sullenly sauntered back towards my dorm room, assured myself that it would not go unpunished.
I was mildly amused when I woke up the following morning to find that the universe indeed had not collapsed in on itself as I slept, there had not been any major crashes due traffic scheduling conflicts, no one I knew had missed a plane or a first class of the day. Every thing seemed to be run just as it should. Just like clock work!

>Play: One year on...

2006-01-17T17:58:00.000-08:00

It’s been almost a year now since I arrived, alone and timid at the DFW airport, welcomed the cheery smiles and open arms of my uncles, aunts and cousins. I would love to say that I remember the day as if it was yesterday but truth be told I have but a very vague recollection of the event, besides I find the statement “I remember it as if it was yesterday” painfully cliché. Looking back, I find processing all that has taken place since an amazingly mind boggling task. I am in awe of the average human’s capacity for growth and adaptation.
I am well aware of the fact the college experience has and still is (I dare say to a lesser degree, but that’s another story) been commonly associated with great revelation and insight into oneself and into the world that one lives in. Colleges the world over are famed as the places at which the world greatest minds, found wings and took flight to lead the way into uncharted territories of though, pulling the rest of humanity along with the shear strength of their passion and dedication. Yet I would venture to say that mine has been a unique college experience, a unique awakening, a unique occasion for internal and external reflection and revelation. “Why?” you may ask do I presume to think my college experience this past year has been different enough to warrant special mention? Well here’s your answer, for the past one year have been able to live, work, play and observe the goings on at UT from the perspective of an international student, and not just any international student mind you, an African International student.
Taken superficially the above mentioned fact may seem little more than an interesting footnote too an otherwise typical story of a year spent at our dear University, but then, a basic characteristic of superficial analysis is that the details are often missed and as they say “the devil is in the details”. One would be utterly surprised at how much being an International student, nay, an African international student can affect ones collage experience, and how literally everything looks… more interesting when viewed through the eyes of one whose culture and background is so profoundly different. The effect of the “cultural lens” becomes clearer with each observation, each comment, each right analysis and each hopeless misinterpretation.
Some would be tempted to view this so called “culture shock” experience as a something negative, something to be quickly gotten over so as to smoothen the way for a less “shocking” semester or year. I on the other hand see it is a boon to my college experience and the very spice which makes college so vibrant and alive. If it is a malady, then it is one that I am not ready to recover from yet. At the very least it enables me to reanalyze things that have long since been thought too mundane to look into and bring out aspects that can only be seen when viewed from my angle, my view point, my cultural lens. Furthermore it allows me the leisure of skipping between the worlds of the typical UT student, the Engineering student, the International student and the African student at UT with relative ease, collecting tidbits from each to form the interesting collection of experiences that form my unique UT experience.
As overwhelming as it may seem, having to maneuver my way between these different realms, often feeling like the title of default ambassador/ representative has been thrust upon by all those to whom you claim affiliation, I wouldn’t have it any other way, if only for the joy of watching others light up as I give them a peak at the world through my end of the looking glass.

wallapa yall

2005-12-21T02:21:00.000-08:00

well well, for alla yall that dont know yet, FINALS ARE OVER!!!!!!!!!!! Yeah, think ill feel less guilty traking time out to log now that i dont have examsn coming up, going back to dallas leo! cant belive it, man i need a holiday, been reading a whole lot of interesting kenyan blogs (for way too long as is evidenced by the fact that i am awake at 4:30 am knowing i have to be at work at 8 :-) we aint never scared, im hoping i can instal ubuntu and jambo open office on uncle chris old comp before i leave for NAVADA BAIBIE!! Cant wait. decided to share my facebook album for all a yall that dont have the benefit of the ultimate in procastination technology. look for the link on the right.

cheers

Hey people,

2005-12-21T02:20:00.000-08:00

Hey people,
today was pretty funny, woke up on time. didnt feel like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders coz of it but it felt kinda good to be in class before the lecture started . had a dance performance for 'umoja' from which i learnt 2 things (1) measure ur audience before you perform
(2) some dances look way better from a distance.

Here is a little something that i wrote based on emotions felt today but long since let go. I think ill call it "Hate me"

HATE ME
If you want to hate me,
then hate me,
and hate me for good.
If your gonna do it,
Do it right!
Do it like you should!
Dont do that "flip-flop,
once on top,
then on the bottom,
can't decide which way to go,
wanna have it both ways,
cake and eat it,
bed and sleep in it",
thing that you seem to like doing!
I hate it,
I hate it right, for good, just like I should,
Why can't you.

Highly confused, i know, it was a bit of an emotional runt than a thought our thing.
anyway nyti nyt

hey, weekendi imeisHA

2005-12-21T02:15:00.000-08:00

Well,

theres a lot that cut this weekend and im hoping that it will be a signficant weekend in my life. I can let you in on all the info but, a lot of life happened. made it to church this time, Yes!!! the surmon was great! as usual. O.G. had a social at his place (which is pretty tight by the way) and that was fun, danced and DJed and then watched nigerian movies with the rest of the jamaz. it was fun. messed up my carcadian rythm but 'what else is new' right....

someone posted a picture of me acting as a chille during the folk tale night, even i have to say i was looking nyangious vibaya sana. here it is

heheehehehheee, WE AFRICANS WE AINT NEVER SCARED

Here is a little somethin, somin, probably the first part of a verse of a song/rap in progress. It has no name yet since its incomplete...

I find these faces ironic,

walkin through streets i think on it,

listenin' to voices thats speakin, indifferent ways, monotonic,

drawling through pages of phony,

facts on the land they once told me,

i was from,

never told me, i had to ring the alarm,

Coz Africa, we in danger!!

A distant world, total stranger!

Unwanted guests that cause Herod to fear a boy in a manger,

Being from where i come from,

is something that I did wrong,

Should prob'ly get on my knees, and repent

but I can't!

Spit faya!

Adios people, kenyans keep it real

yap

2005-12-21T02:14:00.000-08:00

yap,

its 3:55am on thursday/friday and even i dont know why im up this late! anyway, i have finished my math homework so i guess that a plus. havent even looked at the programing work so thats a minus. today was same ol', life jsut dragging by. wish i had more to tell. ill holla at yo later.

one love

blackness and friends

2005-12-21T02:10:00.000-08:00

Dare, kepo and johnyk himseluf chilling out and having fun int he jester basement after a dance praco. good time yall, good times

BLACKNESS

Here is something i wrote for the folk tale night, it has a tune too,played off my guitar with background and drums from FLstudio5. maybe ill post the whole thing up some time.

Blackness

Blackness. Dark rich mysterious

Deep impenetrable seas of

Blackness, swimming in seas

Of beautiful, rich darkness

Dark continent. Land mass

Dubbed incontinent,

Helpless, hapless, hopeless

Pictures of hopelessness fill

Minds and hearts at the the

Thought of my continent.

Labels, 3rd world, 4th world,

What world? Our world

Oh! No not them! Oh no not

When they stem, from the

Seed of the black cursed

Shem!

Scar, they say she’s a scar

On the worlds conscience,
I Say, they say,
shes the scar on the worlds bloated face!

Country or continent?

Most don’t know.

More don’t care.

Don’t dare to look

Don’t dare to stare

Her in the face,

So the act like nothings there.

Irony! The land of the elephant,

Has become the proverbial elephant.

Sits in the room but nobody stares,

Maybe she’ll go away,

A bad dream...maybe…

Proverbial white elephant,

Metaphor? A broken promise,

Unrealized potential

Of chained dreams,

Bursting at the seams,

Starving,

Lacking ways and means.

Happy! happy?? Happy!?

Joyful, ecstatic, glad

Content continent.

Eyes that light up at the gaze of a stranger,

Child oblivious of imminent danger.

Heart of fire,

Blood of kings and warriors,

Fearless conquerors,

Runs through vains covered in pink flesh

And sheathed in blackness.

Deep, rich, beautiful, impenetrable darkness.

hi people,

2005-12-21T02:09:00.000-08:00

hi people,

what can i say, the past few days have been... complicated... to put it mildly, i have been dealing with issues that i thought i had dealt with. dont you just hate it when a dead monster rears its ugly head and goes "Im back!!" yeah, is wak. but anyway, life goes on right.
jana was the night of folktales! it was a tonne of fun, can you imagine i still havent called the people i was supposed to call last week!!?? Man you have issues. anyway, there is what i persieve to be a gain popularity of kenya jamz amongst my non kenyan aqaintances. yippie!

Kesho is my first fest africa!!!! i can wait! kuna after part and me i need to katika kidogo., kidogo tu... anyway, citibank is the slowest bank in the world. wamechizi. Pray for me if you are reading this, i need all the prayers i can get. One love.

Jesus is ... amazing!

2005-12-21T02:08:00.000-08:00

Wallapa tena,

Im still too lazy to figure out how to post pics on this thing, ill get it sooner or latter. SMOKING IS BAD! I wish they would ban it.

Anyway im getting into the bad habit of sleeping at 3 instead of at 2 like im supposed to. i think this is the 3rd cosecutiveday that im doing it. not good. but then again maybe i should just extend my sleepign time to 3 and decrea that i should be in my room by 2 so that i can use the time to do my own things, knowing me tho that will only result in sleeping at 4am instead of 3. so i think it should just remain at..... well we'll see. Nice new skin eh! i put one on befor this that removed my profile pic and i wasnt havin it, plus it removed the change skin button so i had a hard time changing it. luckything i dont often let the machine win. It will all go in the next 123 days (when my free trial ends) so enjoy it while it lasts. finished the acts page of the fest africa site (all images as of now) and forgot to login at work, carried the wrong homework then spent 30 minutes searching for it. anyway, all in all life is dandy appart from the fact that i have a loan payment coming up and i dont have any money. Masomo tutawza.
I AM UNBWOGABLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

wallapa yall

2005-12-21T02:07:00.000-08:00

wallapa yall,

first i must complain!!! can you imagne they had ANOTHER FIRE DRILL TODAY!!!!! and it was RAINING too!!!!!! these guys arent serious with life for sure, wana fanya mchezo, watakiona!! Anyway something good actually came out of it. as i was forced to leave the building i had to go and study in the PCL which turned out be extra productive. i actually finished my math homework read a little elec and a lot of Gov. I hope to e doing that more often. i feel strangely proud of myself for doing so. God gaveme focus so i didnt even fidget much and didnt feel swatchious. appart from that and the fact that my bandwidth has bee severly cut because of exceeding my limit jana (as a result ot FF:IV)which is very annoying,i am good and psyched up for maisha. Hoping, still hoping against hope that my fees gets paid soon. America o!

hattaing

2005-12-21T02:06:00.000-08:00

Now lets see... what has cu tsince my last entry?
Quite a lot actually, the wise guys at jeter auditorum decided that 3am in the night is the perfect time to have a fire drill and thus prceeded to haul us all out of bed or my case desk and take us outside for about 40 minutes of time wasting. after all this, i being a wise guy my self thought it would be a good idea to brak my sleep pattern and stay up trying to figure out a math problem fora friend. man did that mess me up or what!!! i felt like the face of a sledge hummer for the whole weekend. I finally got the random point area program working (sort of) about 30 minutes to the deadline. im quite surprised at my self, did think i would be able to do it. I guess God just decided to have mercy on me. I hope he continues todo so.

Missed ASA. long story. Met a Kenyan who lives on my floor!!!!!!! wandas! i tell you. iwas so shocked mpaka i think i shtuad her. anyway its nice to jua that there are peoples from the digz country around. I went for the NI Info session and thugged their pizza. they talked about this Engneering Leadership program that i now really want to get into. I left them my resume, i hope they pick me.

I am hattaing videdly wth this Taylor series mamboz but usijali, ntajikaza kisauni and pray that God reveals it to me (maclauren series pia).

FINAL FANTASY VII: advent children rocks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i watched it today, (when i was supposed to be doingmy homework and it was just toooooooooo deadly. i also spentthe whole of my Sato evenign watching about 20 episodes of Naruto ( the best anime series ihave ever see), not good for my masomoz. I hope to jipanga better. wekend was ok. Uyai made some seriously delicious nigerian food and invited me and Uduak over, it was sawa sana.
Anyway its about my bed time so ill holla malataz

From the worlds worst blogger (Self confessed)

2005-08-04T09:26:00.000-07:00

Yes its me again, what? Don’t gimme that look like you don’t know who I am anymore. I know its been a long time but come on! You knew how I was when we started this (-:

Nothing much has been taking place tho. Finished the first session of summer and did pretty good at it and that God I was able to take physics 2 I summer 2 coz if its like this at community college I shudder to think how it would be at the Uni! Lets see, the lolwe blog is up and running with an introduction and everything (lolwe.blogspot.com). I’m thinking it looks pretty good if I do say so my self. I wish there were more contributions tho so if you have anything relevant to the site to share please feel free to post and share it.

I was beginning to despair at the amazing lack of good music these days. I know I’m starting to sound like baba but fo real yo, they just don’t do it like they used to. The 90’s especially the earlier portions of it was truly the Golden Age of alternative rock in my opinion. There was just so much good music out there that all had to do was turn on Capital and I would be dancing all day! Y’all know I love to get giggy wit it (-:

Greg laurie sed something today that really struck a chord with me. He sed that we cant afford to have a rollercoaster relationship with Mungu. Your just not going to be able to reap much of the benefits of the whole relationship thingie going up and down in your dedication to Him. The aim should not be to not just experience you know, bursts burst of spiritual energy but to fika a kind of consistency with Him. Enoch WALKED with God for 300 years before Mungu told him “ama hook you up”, he didn’t Sprint with Him on and off. He walked. Consistency. Im going to strive for that.

Man! Soul! That’s some tight music!

Ye cheers men, ill try and holla back mapemaz

My peeps chillin outside bapo

2005-06-22T07:30:00.000-07:00

DSCN1118
Originally uploaded by olmoti8.

Man I miss these guys!

Hey there

2005-06-22T07:02:00.000-07:00

Hey there,
Yeah its Sunday and im dreading having to go to school tomorrow especially considering the fact that I have a test on Tuesday on a topic that im not particularly fond of, forces and moments. Anyway, Gods been good to me. I feel pretty good. There was something I had promised to expound on in my last post but I cant remember what it is and since i am not online as I’m typing this I wont be able to check. Don’t worry tho, I haven’t forgot. I’ll do the necessary asap. Im missing Kenya more that usual for some reason. I so wish I could just go back right now. Anyway, I guess ill get over it. I went to watch the sisterhood of the traveling pants jana, its sucha beautiful movie, Ill have to get the DVD. Its been a while since I saw a movie that to sought to show the beauty and mystery of being human/ dared to explore naïve love.

I have a research project that I have not yet started on and its about time that I did. Im going to have to compromise on some of the fancy multi media stuff that I wanted to do with it but I feel that I will be finished with it by the end of the day today. I’m also gonna check if registration for fall at ACC has started coz I need to do my physics 2 there.

Found a church in dallas to fika. It looks pretty cool.

10 THINGS I MISS (in no particular order):

1. My Famo
2. Sonie
3. Sonie
4. Sonie
5. Jamaz of Bapo
6. Chilez of Bapo
7. Those simple Days
8. My guys from outside bapo
9. the sweet scent of Sonie’s perfume
10. Kenya

You know what! Even though I don’t know how He is going to work it out, I know God is going to work all this out coz I know that he has a plan for me and it is to make me prosper so no worries. I cant believe that He has got me this far so I’m easy kama Sunday morning.
Ma-lataz

Its been a long time... shulndt have left you..

2005-06-16T10:06:00.000-07:00

its been a long time indeed, since the finals came creaping around the corner i have lengad mpaka even me i have shangaad. but anyway i think i am back in full swing now only time will tell.
Lets see... what has happened in the mean...mmmhhh.. I had what i consider a life changing experience the leadershape camp that i went to after school closed.
Leadershape is an organization that organizes (pun intended) camps that are designed to get your vision out of your head and into the real world and I must say tey are really really good at it. I met soooooooo many amazing people with amazing visions and a kind of contagious engery/life force that just made me want to get up and make things happen instead of just watching things happen. I made my vision statement and I will be telling you more about it at a latter date.

Appart from all the learning it was a really fun and some times grossely emoyional experience :-) every bodys gotta cry some time:-) which was weird since we had only known each other for 6 days. Anyway stranger things have happened.

Im now taking my summer school at northlake college and quite enjoying it. I take care of my cousin in the afternoon and also try and get some studying done at the same time.

My Uncle shak came over to the states and we went and chose a ZEN micro mp3 player for him (swoon) i so want one of those. He also brought quite abit of kenyan music with him which i thankfully recieved and have been listening to religiously especially Esther Wahome (again pun intended). who would have thunk that i would be bopping my head to the bead of 'moyoni'. Kenya rocks like woa!

Ama keep you updated on the happenings

> Play: Pot of gold

2005-04-21T20:01:00.000-07:00

The wealth of social commentary on Kenya by Kenyans in the diaspora is simply mind boggling. Browsing about the net looking for something of ‘maana’ to read up on I some how found myself on a blog called Kenyan pundit by a law student at Harvard. Not only did the author have quite interesting blogs of his own but the site also provided me with links to various interesting blogs focusing on Kenya and Africa as a whole.

I couldn’t help but feel proud of ‘my people’ reading through the posts and taking in the potpourie of ideas and silently marveling at the quality of writing we seem to so easily generate. Up Kenya! Up!-)

Anyway, we are now in the thick of the Darfur awareness week here at UT. I wasn’t able go to the letter writing party today but I hear that the turn out is really good. The movie for yesterdays program arrived about 15 minutes before the show was schedualed to star! I was beginning to despair, I guess the timing must have had some significance.

It was really good considering that it was a rough cut. The movie is called ‘A message from home is essentially a collection of interviews from of people at various refugee camps and settlements in Darfur and Neighboring Chad. I like the way the interviews strove to show both the pathos of their current situation and their will to go on and rebuild their lives. Kusdos to the producers!

Ndereba wins fourth Boston title

2005-04-19T00:35:00.000-07:00

Defending champion Catherine Ndereba of Kenya became the first four-time womans winner of the Boston Marathon yesterday, coming from behind to overtake Ethiopias Elfenesh Alemu.

Ndereba won the 109th edition of the world’s oldest annually contested marathon in an unofficial time of 2 hours 25 minutes 12 seconds. That fell short of the women’s course record of 2:20:43 set by Margaret Okayo of Kenya in 2002.

> Play: Inner termoil and its implications

2005-04-17T20:18:00.000-07:00

Well today was an interesting day, I lost a friend to 'the truth' and gained another from her. Truth has a funny way of cutting both ways like that. She gives and she takes away. Either way, what she gives is invariably more precious than what she takes away, and that which she takes away, one hopes, she will one day give back.
A lie on the other hand, gives only what it must and takes all it can, and when it is full grown, it takes back even that which it gave. But this is not an essay on these two timeless foes so ill leave it at that.

The conscience is a very interesting thing don't you think, two days ago I did something I knew was wrong but could justify (sort of) at the time and its interesting how my mind reacted to the whole incident. This was not in anyway the "worst thing" I've ever done, far from it, but I couldn't get it out of my head, this nagging, pocking, feeling in me kept on telling me "that was wrong, you know it, why did you do it?" and I couldn't get it out of my head.
After a while it started getting me down and I came to a cross road where I had to choose the way in which I would react to this feeling. On the one hand, some thing was telling me just to say "See, trying to do right isn't worth it, let it go" and it looked like a very tempting option.
That’s when it hit me! And I'm glad it did just then coz I don't know what would have happened if it didn't. Suddenly I saw that God was trying to tell me something through this inner turmoil that I was experiencing. I began to see that this guilt was not just there to beat me into a depressed state but was there to get me to see Gods position on the matter and to listen up for what to do next. Trust me when you listen, God speaks, he aint playin.
I've had a brilliant 2 days since then and have really felt Gods presence around me. I think I was going through that 'Ministry of the night thing' that is in the 'Purpose Driven life' (wonderful book, must read). I missed Mungu but didn't really realize it until he let me feel his presence again. It was like taking a long breath of fresh air after exiting a smoke filled house... glorious!

> Play: on being a good boy....

2005-04-16T14:57:00.000-07:00

My goodness! How can this be! How can this silly computer erase all the things I just wrote! If I wasn't so gangster I'd cry :-) Anyway I guess there is nothing else to do but start over. Maybe the ideas will flow better this time.
I finished watching Hotel Rwanda yesterday, that’s a wonderful movie. I mean its simply amazing, I have to get the DVD and you should too! It’s been so long since I watched a movie with meaning and a message.
For all who don't know ( I have learned not to assume common knowledge since I came to this continent of America, Rwanda is a country near the east coast of Africa where over 800,000 people where killed in a genocide that lasted 100 days. The world closed its eyes and ears and refused to call what was going on genocide until it was too late. The war was between the two major Rwandese tribes, the HUTU and the TUTSI. The movie is about on courageous hotel Manager, Mr. Paul Rusasabangina who was able shelter over 1200 people from the massacre. It’s a beautiful tale of love and courage under fire.

I had the opportunity to watch the real Mr. Rusasabangina give a narration of his ordeal just last week. It was truly amazing. He came to UT Austin and im glad I went.

I will not tire to reiterate that the same thing that happened in Rwanda is now taking place in the Darfur Region of Western Sudan. 10,000 people are dying every month and the United Nations has abdicated its duty and responsibility by delegating the task of deciding whether to call the situation in Darfur genocide to an external body.( The government of the Sudan is sponsoring a militia called the janjaweed to systematically wipe out all “non Arabs” in the area)

What bugs me the most is that almost everyone that I have spoken to here at the university, has no clue of what is going on. Isn’t it amazing that almost anyone who cares to read a newspaper or watch TV in Kenya knows of and has seen people feverishly protesting for the preservation of Terry Schiavo's life yet these people don’t know about the mass murder of 10s of thousands that is taking place in Africa? Are these lives worth less than Mrs. Schiavos’? Why won't anyone protest for them, stand up for them... at least write a letter to their congress man for them? Ruminate on that...

A riveting story of courage

>> FFW: Many days later John found himself in a strang and distant land...

2005-04-14T15:22:00.000-07:00

It burns me that I dont care enough. I may say that do, console myself with the suggestion that the fact that i wheep when I watch a video that shows my own, my kin, suffering beyond my capacity to understand means tht I care. Truth remains, if I don't act, then I don't care; not really. Or maybe I do care, but jsut nt as much as i care about gettin' me a neew ipod or cell phone. Maybe I care but don't care enough, not nearly enough.....
Its burns me inside to know that the humanity of my fellow man seems to be inverslly proportional to his distance from me. That the further you are, the less human you become to me. It hurt to know that even though we have suffered so much in persuit of knowledge, we so badly lack understanding. We we gain a form of tollerance in exchange for all form of compassion. Its ubsurd, it make me sick, sick to know that this is me.
I must, i have to do something. I cant the self deception, this 'bad faith', this 'decedance'. I have to do something.... something. But what? I will start with speaking, lending my voice to those withot a voice those of my Kin who die for want of someone to speak of their plight.... for one of 'men with chests'. Who.... what am I, if i can sit and watch as the river runs read and say, wih out lifting so much as a finger "I am power less to stop it, willing but unable"

Every month, more than 10,000 people die in the Darfur reagon of Sudan. 10.100!! That the entire UT population in 5 months.... the Govenment of Sudan is sponssering a melitia, a band of armed men on horse back called the janjaweed to systematically wipe out all all the non-Arabs in the region and though this has been taking place for over a year now, the rest of the world has closed its eyes and ears, silenced their tongues, renegaded on their "Never Again" pledge and patient watched over 300,000 people die. Still they refuse to call this genocided, I guess they are.... no waite, WE are afraid of steping on someones toes. I makes me sick to see that this is me. I hope, and i pray that soon, I will be able to say that that WAS me, but not any more... no longer.

Why them....

Play: > Again i begin

2005-02-09T10:58:00.000-08:00

Ok its been the longest time i know, but its been a crazy time for me yall gotta understand, imagine im now in the states! its carazy, after hustling for so long im here and it aint all that. Anyway thats probably coz I spend so much time in school that i tend to forget that there exists a world beyond the dounderies of the university of texas at Austin ( which by the way is where im @) It not the traditional picture of a school though (fences, uniform, askaris) so im doing ok.
God has really be been hollaring at me of late, Ok it stated a while back but thats how long i have kept away from the blog (again im compelled to offer my sincerest appologies). Cant write everying that has cat since i last wrote but i do want to say that God is faithful and he has shown me this time and time again.
On Sunday God gave me a ride home. For real yo! i was lost coming from church and he gave me a ride all the way to jester. infact it startd with me missing the shuttle that was to come and get me. So God made the second driver stay at the church coz he doesn't have a cell phone. so when i called the church he was sent to pick me up n we had a nice time talkin about UT sports on the way to church.
when service ended i decided (not too brightly i might add) that i couldn't wait for the return shuttle coz i would be late for a meeting so i thought id walk! it didn't seem to far on the drive over. Well it turned out to be quite far which wouldn't really have ben a problem coz i've walked longer distances before with relative ease. unfortunately though it turned out the i couldn't remember the way back and ended up getting hopelessly lost. I came to a crossing and was getting impatiant waiting forthe walk light to turn green, little did i know that this was all part of Gods plan to get me back home in time for the meeting! I crossed to the otherside of the road and began walking getting surer with every step that i was getting even more lost. I was about to turn around and head back where i came from when what do i see at the junction up ahead?! the shuttle that brought me to the church. so i wave at the driver and he recognises me and stops, and the rest is history :-)

Now if i had gotten on the shuttle i was supposed to, i wouldn't have known the second shuttles driver and thus he wouldn't have stopped when i waved. Also i i hadn't been kept waiting at the lights i would have passed the junciton and the shuttle driver would not have seen me when he stopped at the janction! so you want a miracle, there you go.
stuff like that has been happening alot lately. It feels nice. Gods got ma back

2004-11-03T02:23:00.000-08:00

girl n flower

> Play : I started.....

2004-09-20T02:01:00.000-07:00

I started to learn how to play guitar yesterday. Always wanted to learn. My dad plays but most of the time he can't find time to teach me. When he fikas home from the office he is mad tired n just wants to kula and lala. So i decided to as my boy C. to teach kidogo but we keep missing each other coz im at work or he is cought up in some business. So anyway i was at My cousin Onicko's place yesteday and i found my boy O. there getting ready to teach him some guitar and im like "what luck!" so i dash all the way home and get my dads guitar and we spend the rest of the afternoon learning 4 chords! Doesn't seem like much i know but considering that i know nothin at all before im pretty proud of my self. Now i can (sort of) play 'trading my sorrows' and the beguinings of 'save tonight' by eagle eye cherry and the other song by sixpencentr, i forget the name. Yuppie! Mom is causing beef coz of the neck thing that i got for my birth day so i guess i have to lenga it just like i lengad bbg's silver chain with the key. I guess its aight tho. I shall strive to live at peace with those around me. Work is wak! (so what else is new....) but hay i guess there are worse places to work than oyeyo adek.

My fingers are killing me by the way. Just Typing this text is proving to be an excrutiating experience (note to self..... next time you want to start learning guitar, take leave! at least until you grow guitar-string resistant findertip skin.) Its getting better though. No pain no gain... such is the cruel way of the world.

Last week was kind coo come to think of it. Had a meeting with the watered guy for the first time in like forever! It was cool tho. It was more open and I felt much better after it. We vibed on almost every topic that came across my head n that sayin something man coz alot of stuff crosses my mind. Lots of jamaz left last week. Dude mpaka i got tired of excorting jamaz to the airport. Resolved to write about called 'Behind the glass wall' chronicaling the exploits of a 'lone' escorter of persons leaving the country :o) Doubt ill start it even, was a cool idea though, that cover image could be me saying goodbye through those ominous glass windows at the airport n u only see my face through the reflection on the glass but its on the other guys face so its kinda like i wanna be ont the other side of that wall but quite clearly im not. P LEFT! sob, sob.... it never hit me that he was leaving until he was on the other side or that glass wall. Anyway life goes on. Nyago. is leaving on wednesday. She missed her flight on sato after doing all the crying stuff n all, he he. Anyway, guess it just gives us more time with her before she too leaves.

All this talk about people leaving is getting kinda depressing so ama let it go. My devotion is goin good but could be going better, i need 'mo faya' to blaze it up. I hope God send me some some time soon. Reading 1 coritnhians 8 or 9 now, can't remember which one exactly but im pretty sure its one of the two. Paul is so cool! He kinda reminds me of me. Randsomed from the fall. And striving to know God more deeply only by teh time he is writing the bible he si like trillions of leagues deeper than i am. I can still like feel that vibe of the new christian and knows the drama that we all face on a daily basis. I mean here is a dude who used to like kill christians for a living man, he was internationally known on the microphone as one of the best int he business! Then Jesus calls him and BAM! Hes changed and forgiven! He says he is forgeting what is in the past and striving for what is ahead of him. I mean if he can be forgiven and forget about his past vefore christ then who am i to think any different man? Im Forgiven!!!!!!! Dude, Its too sawa!

This song 'cold' by Crossfade is too motto, even through my super tweeter speeker. Anyway I guess its about time i gave by abused fingers a rest and gave a litle office work a try :o)